The Midwife From Hell

Wow, it's been a long time coming. Aminah has been gone almost 5 years now. Time moves so fast. I literally can not believe it. Although I have not blogged in a while, my fight for Aminah has not stopped. As we have added to our family I can't help but to know for sure that my Twin's death was definitely due to negligence of that Midwife. Anyways.........I'm proven record that you may still receive a delayed birth certificate for a home birth. Here a few pictures of what Aminah would look like to this day. Identical Twin Akilah Born 1st Identical Twin Akilah Born 1st Identical Twin Akilah Born 1st Happy Blogging

Today is the anniversary of Aminah's passing. This day 4 years ago I was overwhelmed with an undeniable feeling of regret. I felt alone and troubled. My soul just would not rest. In the picture above is Twin Akilah. I always upload pictures of her because this is what Aminah looks like.She was an identical twin. I feel that no matter what I can honestly say that I love Aminah and will continue to dedicate this blog to her in every way possible. Sometimes I look at Twin Akilah and just cry because she is so special and smart and she is missing her other part but everyday I show her pictures and remind her who Aminah is. I tell her what happened and I tell Akilah why she is special. I tell her your a twin!!!! I tell her she is so special that God had to make two. I have mourned for so long today is a Celebration. We will honor you our special Ibeji Holiday. We Love you Aminah.

                            Twin Akilah                  Twin Akilah and Cousin Akilah is such a ball of energy. She is so articulate, smart, and such a diva. She is very emotional and sweet. She is bold and has a very good memory. I tell her all the time that she is a twin. She knows what twin means. For some reason twin books, shows,and presents all come in some type of twin form to her like a special gift from someone special. I call Akilah "Ibeji" Which is African for twin representation. I also call her "Twin". I call her these names so she will always known she is special and was born special and survived under special circumstances. When I upload these images I see her within Akilah my beautiful sweet Aminah. The Midwife From Hell

There is not a day that goes by that I dont think about Twin Aminah. The most painful part about May 24, 2013 is she didn't have to die. Not only did she not have to die Aminah nor my family received any recourse for her death. Her death was kicked under a rug. There were many people responsible that night for the condition of my new born baby. The midwife system is very corrupt and very trendy. Don't let these women fool you. You know, the home birth enthusiast, the midwives, the doulas, NARM, or the private owned ultasound businesses. NARM and their midwives are running away from accountability. These CPA's want to birth babies at home with no accountability. Meaning if something happens they are going to run behind NARM and NARM and their state Associations will protect them. So many babies have died in the hands of unqualified midwives and it has to stop. Of course birthing at home can be a beautiful moment but also know it can turn into a nightmare really quick. Be...

I remember that day. That morning I knew I had to let you go. I was so hopeful. I was so faithful. My pain was real. I wanted to un-do it. I wanted to rewind time. I was lonely. I felt like a small child, feelings on the ground. I had to be strong because people were watching, waiting on me to break. I remember the late night drives to the hospital just to see you lay there, breathing but not alert. My heat broke every time I left your room and couldn't take you home. Deep down I knew the nightmare would eventually end but I never knew you were my sacrifice to wake up. I remember when your father was not strong enough to see you the way you were but I had to be. I was still your mommy. I hated not being able to be with you for 24 hours of the day. I have no idea the things they did to you  when I wasn't around. The bad new never stopped. I felt the doctors were so tired of comforting me that their support began to diminish when the medical charges continued to rack up. You ...

I wonder how many women lost their baby to home birth and are just not speaking out about it? I wonder how many are blaming their self for the tragedy? I always wonder why the women decide to keep quiet. Actually, I know why they keep quiet. I remember when I first decided to open up about loosing my daughter to home birth, I remember how cruel women were to me. I was called every name in the book. I remembered getting so much hate mail. I remember so many women sharing my blog post in other groups talking bad about me. I remember all of that and if your not strong enough to deal with that, I can see why a woman would opt out to not share that tragedy. Maybe the women feels as though it was their fault. Maybe the midwife was able to brainwash her client making her feel like she did everything she could to save their baby.If you had your baby at home and something happened to your baby I just would like to let you know that all options were not exhausted. I started this blog to educat...

June 17, was the day of celebration for Aminah's passing. I just sat back really sad thinking about all the memories of that day. That even has shaped my life in so many ways. I am thankful for the years that have followed that day. Oh how I miss you so, sweet Aminah, I feel your pretty presence everyday. -Love Always,    Your beautiful Mother      Dreah Louis

When you type in the simple word, "Home Birth" below are the links and information that is available. There is a problem with this. The problem is that when most women gather their information regarding home birth. The disaster stories are hidden under rest of the home birth information. When women are planning to home birth they do not search home birth disasters because in their mind they are not preparing for a disaster. Google search can misrepresent home birth in many ways. Google can make home birth appear safe in all aspects, it hides criminal midwives, and it most definitely hides the risk assessments. Yes, Yes, Yes, it is always up to the parents to do the research regarding home birth and boy let me tell you that is a lot of research. There will be nothing that can prepare you for something like the midwife being late or not showing at all to the birth. There will be nothing that can prepare you if you chose an uneducated midwife. So, Please let your search...

I would like to give thanks to the creator for allowing me to bring a healthy baby boy into the world on February 8,2015. Ayinde was born at 12:40 am at Mercy Birth Center in St. Louis, Missouri. It was a wonderful birthing experience. I can say that after I lost Aminah to a midwife I thought that I would honestly stay far way from a midwife but natural birth and the theories of a midwife are so beautiful to me and I envision that every pregnancy should be experienced with minimal interventions (of course there are things that go wrong and immediate assistance needs to available within seconds). I battled everyday while I was pregnant with my son if I could trust another midwife. The answer to my question is yes. Some midwives can be trusted, why? Because some of them really do love their job. This birth center I would not consider to be a freestanding center because it was located inside of Mercy hospital. Somehow the midwives in charge still found a way to still be in control of ...

Believe me I am trying. The events of that night and flashbacks about the negligence that I received is what still flashing through my memory bank. I can;t believe it, it's been over a year that my baby Aminah has been dead and I am still fighting for her. No matter how much my life has continued on I still feel I need to fight for my daughter. Today Aminah, I called a couple more attorneys and the second one pretty much laughed in my face and hung up the phone. How you died daughter, was tragic and sad. The way that people in charge around me acted at the time of your entrance into the world was horrible. I wish I could take the night back and do it all over again. Having a baby at home is serious business. It takes a lot of knowledge and preparation. Midwives are so disconnected from the law its scary. I remember going to the Malpractice Insurance Lobby Assembly in Jefferson City. Even the lawmakers are detached from the idea that midwives don't have to be held legal...

 I am so tired of people linking my blog. I guess when I started the blog I didn't think about all the people that would be exploiting me and my daughter. That's why I set up a paid subscription. When I go to my statistics page and I see that there is traffic coming to my blog I always go to the source to find out who has linked my blog and what they are talking about. First of all the titles of the post are so disturbing, especially from the Doctor bloggers. They really have no compassion. They just write to get readers and they do not get permission to even use women's stories in their blog, they just do it. One doctor told me that they did not have to get permission to use my story, they said I uploaded my blog for the world to read and they were not going to be taking it down. I said, "Oh Really?" So I rather no one read my blog then people just wanting to read a story to talk about me in forums. Again I feel like I have to say this. My blog is for educ...

Yes I said it! My Blog is My Blog. I put up the information and I develop the titles in which I speak about. As Dr. Amy Tutuer has told me via email that, I put up my blog for the whole world to read and she did not have to get my authorization.That may be true but in all reality it just shows that you really have no respect for the cause and the only reason why your blog is relevant is because you exploit women and their dead injured babies. LETS CALL IT HEALTH GOSSIP. That is what your blog is health gossip. For my blog is for EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. Not for exploitation. The Blog The Midwife From Hell is my blog. I do not appreciate the linked traffic to my blog for non educational purposes.To all the women who have link this blog to share statistical facts and to have heated debate about hospital birth vs. home birth. It is disrespectful to the original blogger and most likely permission was not obtained. Specifically to Dr. Amy Tutuer your blog is completely irrelevant. Y...

  Didn't think that I would be back in this situation again so soon but I guess so. Here is me again pregnant 21 weeks and not a day goes by where I don't think about my Twin Aminah that did not survive my home birth. How I wish that I could take back moments but I can't. A mother's love runs deeper than an ocean for the love of her children. I know many mothers that have lost babies due to many reasons. I just want to always remember that your short life has humbled me as a woman. Regardless of what people think about me, no one loves you and thinks about you more than I do. God blessed me with your counterpart twin Akilah. Every day I look at her I think about you because she is you and you are her. A true example of dual existence.   GREETINGS TO NEW LIFE

THE EXPERIENCE SUCKED............... THE MIDWIFE WAS HORRIBLE AND SHE DIDN'T TREAT ME  RIGHT...... THE HOSPITAL TREATED ME LIKE SHIT...................... THE PARAMEDICS TREATED ME LIKE A HUMAN, SHOWED UP DIDNT HAVE THE RIGHT EQUIPMENT THE LEGISLATORS TREATED ME LIKE A CHARITY CASE THE ATTORNEY'S WOULDN'T TAKE MY CASE BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T GET ANY MONEY AND BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T WANT TO REPRESENT ME THE MIDWIFE HAD NO PROBLEM TAKING ALL MY MONEY THE MIDWIFE DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH MY VAGINA. MEANING DOING EXAMS THE MIDWIFE DIDN'T WANT TO SHOW TO THE GRIEVANCE SHE FILED A RESTRAINING ORDER BECAUSE SHE FELT THREATENED BY MY BLACK HUSBAND THE MIDWIFE NEVER SHOWED TO THE HOSPITAL (NO RESPECT FOR ME AS A WOMAN) THE MIDWIFE DIDN'T WANT TO COME TO MY NEIGHBORHOOD (TOO MANY BLACK PEOPLE) SHE WASN'T INTERESTED IN DOING ANY LABS ON ME OR ULTRASOUNDS Most people would say she was just a bad midwife but NO sh...

June 17, 2013 I had to make the choice of letting my twin daughter Aminah pass.  It was truly the hardest decision that my husband have ever had to make.  Until that day, I never truly knew what real  pain and disappointment felt like. As I write these words now tears drop on the top of my keypad of my laptop.  What happened? Why me?  These are the questions that I ask myself everyday since her death. If any woman chooses to have a home birth with a midwife please make sure that it is something that you really want to do and realize that indeed it is a major risk that you are taking.   The pain of losing an infant is unbearable and I would like to prevent any other woman from going down the same path rather your having one baby or two. I found out I was pregnant with identical twins in November of 2012. We had already decided to have a home birth before the twin conformation. It was something we alwa...