Sunday, October 26, 2014

I Am So Tired ........

 I am so tired of people linking my blog. I guess when I started the blog I didn't think about all the people that would be exploiting me and my daughter. That's why I set up a paid subscription. When I go to my statistics page and I see that there is traffic coming to my blog I always go to the source to find out who has linked my blog and what they are talking about.

First of all the titles of the post are so disturbing, especially from the Doctor bloggers. They really have no compassion. They just write to get readers and they do not get permission to even use women's stories in their blog, they just do it.

One doctor told me that they did not have to get permission to use my story, they said I uploaded my blog for the world to read and they were not going to be taking it down. I said, "Oh Really?" So I rather no one read my blog then people just wanting to read a story to talk about me in forums.

Again I feel like I have to say this. My blog is for educational purposes only NOT for exploitation reasons and there is a big difference. As a mother of a child that was lost to home birth believe me you know the difference between someone being respectful of your blog material and someone who is being absolutely disrespectful while exploiting you.

The paid subscription is for people who actually want to follow my story, not just lurk to see what I am up to. I find that a lot of women have been doing that. Lurking. They don't comment or say anything in the content that I have written. It's getting kind of old.

No subscription, No read, Sorry

It's for the better. If you don't want to pay then you don't need to read the blog anyway.

Dreah Louis
The Midwife From Hell

Saturday, October 18, 2014


Yes I said it! My Blog is My Blog. I put up the information and I develop the titles in which I speak about. As Dr. Amy Tutuer has told me via email that, I put up my blog for the whole world to read and she did not have to get my authorization.That may be true but in all reality it just shows that you really have no respect for the cause and the only reason why your blog is relevant is because you exploit women and their dead injured babies. LETS CALL IT HEALTH GOSSIP. That is what your blog is health gossip. For my blog is for EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. Not for exploitation. The Blog The Midwife From Hell is my blog. I do not appreciate the linked traffic to my blog for non educational purposes.To all the women who have link this blog to share statistical facts and to have heated debate about hospital birth vs. home birth. It is disrespectful to the original blogger and most likely permission was not obtained.

Specifically to Dr. Amy Tutuer your blog is completely irrelevant. You throw in a few charts some statistics  I have relevant information regarding conformed consents, assessment of midwives, policies/regulations, certifications, and how the grievance process works and so much more information. Instead of exploiting my daughter and I all over your blog I would suggest that you also relay that information.

To all the other women that just lurk on my blog meaning you don't comment or share the education, you just tune in to my birth story and stalk every post I write to see what I am up to I find that also disgusting and I don't mind sharing that.

I understand that most women that read my blog are white women and indeed have anything in common with me but if your are reading my blog you can do more than just lurk.

Twin Aminah is my daughter and yes I delivered my set of twins at home, and yes one of my twins died. The midwife didn't show for my birth and didn't follow through properly on the grievance.
There is deep rooted hated for the midwifery system right now.

When I write I write from experience not opinion when people read my writing they confuse the things that I say as ideal and not fact because I am not a doctor or medical researcher.

This blog is my blog please do not disrespect this online memorial for my daughter, a journey of her life, a memory of her mothers gifts, and research on her entrance into life. I deserve that much respect.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Racism In Health Care


To all the women on the Skepitcal OB Forum that commented and said that I was wrong.

Screw You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To Dr. Amy

I still think your a bitch for taking my daughters name and using it on your website without my consent and also for exploiting me in a time when I was grieving.

Screw You Too!

Thursday, October 9, 2014


Ibeji mean "twin" in Yoruba. One soul two bodies. Twin are considered magical. My mother gave me these as a symbol of the birth of my twins. This isn't the first set that she has given me but this is my favorite.
Aminah is the one in the purple and I keep them in a special place in my home. Normally what the Africans do is have wood carvings made of the twin that passed and they keep them in sacred places and they do rituals with the Ibeji's as remembrance and spiritual balance for the surviving twin.

The culture believes that the second twin born is a spiritual messenger to the first twin before entrance into the world. What the Yoruba tribe believes is before both twins are born the second twin tells the first twin to show if the world or life will be good or bad by crying in the spiritual world. Based on the cries in the spiritual world before the birth of the first twin will determine if the second twin will be born alive or stillborn.

The Yoruba tribe also believes that the second twin born is the elder because it sends the first twin on a spiritaul errand. They also believe that the first twin is the quieter and calmer of the two. When twins are born they carry one soul the same soul. One is considered to be the spiritual one  and the other is considered the mortal one.  A lot of people of the village experience high child death rates and they believe that if one twins passes at a young age the surviving twin will be off balance so many women of the village do rituals with the Ibeji wooden carvings to balance the soul of the existing twin. 

I find it beautiful that although I was born in American sub consciously my mother and I are still carrying out a genetic spiritual religion from a far away land. Although these are just dolls I feel apart of the Yoruba tribe. My long lost home. I will make sure that I keep these type of sacred items for my daughter and teach her of her existence and birth experience which makes her so very important and special. I will always let her know that she will always and forever be an Ibeji.

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

21 Weeks Pregnant

Didn't think that I would be back in this situation again so soon but I guess so. Here is me again pregnant 21 weeks and not a day goes by where I don't think about my Twin Aminah that did not survive my home birth. How I wish that I could take back moments but I can't. A mother's love runs deeper than an ocean for the love of her children. I know many mothers that have lost babies due to many reasons. I just want to always remember that your short life has humbled me as a woman. Regardless of what people think about me, no one loves you and thinks about you more than I do. God blessed me with your counterpart twin Akilah. Every day I look at her I think about you because she is you and you are her. A true example of dual existence.

Medela Freestyle Breast Pump

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