Saturday, June 17, 2017

Remembering Aminah on this Special Day



Today is the anniversary of Aminah's passing. This day 4 years ago I was overwhelmed with an undeniable feeling of regret. I felt alone and troubled. My soul just would not rest. In the picture above is Twin Akilah. I always upload pictures of her because this is what Aminah looks like.She was an identical twin. I feel that no matter what I can honestly say that I love Aminah and will continue to dedicate this blog to her in every way possible.



Sometimes I look at Twin Akilah and just cry because she is so special and smart and she is missing her other part but everyday I show her pictures and remind her who Aminah is. I tell her what happened and I tell Akilah why she is special. I tell her your a twin!!!! I tell her she is so special that God had to make two.


I have mourned for so long today is a Celebration. We will honor you our special Ibeji Holiday.
We Love you Aminah.







Thursday, June 8, 2017

Deciding to Record and Photograph my Birth weeks

So today I have a midwife appointment baby due soon. I will be recording my whole trip. Since this is my last baby I want this to be special. I will be recording these weeks until delivery.

Hope you stay tuned in.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Dear Midwife Joann Falcon



Dear Midwife Joann Falcon,

I don't know if you remember me but I chose you as my midwife and you failed me. I chose you as a midwife and you mislead me. I chose you as a midwife and I paid you, even bought all the supplies that you suggested. I trusted you and you failed me. Mislead and ignored me. I chose to talk about my Home Birth disaster even after I knew that I would be ridiculed. I took that risk. I just want the world to know I will never stop showing your face. Yes, your face. The face of the midwife that stood me up at my birth and ran after my baby died. Never made a visit, never sent any flowers, and never sent your condolences. I guess you felt like you didn't owe me that. I guess you felt you didn't owe my daughter that but because of that I will never stop talking about you. I will never stop mentioning your name as the midwife from hell. That's exactly what you are. I hope that one day you will consider what you did and how messy you were and still are for still not reaching out to my family. 

Teaming up with  your midwife friends trying to change the blame game. However, you and I know the real story. You took ,my money and ran. You took my daughter's life because you were not there. Your advice was all wrong that night and you never admitted that it was wrong. I will never forget your silence that day. You really knew you fucked up! I remember calling you the next day and you ignored all my phone calls. I remember feeling abandoned, alone , and furious. You failed us and for that I will never stop talking about you. I will never say that you are a good midwife because your character after my babies death was pure disgusting for that I will never stop talking about you.

Your definitely The Midwife From Hell

Sincerely, Dreah Louis

A woman who hired the Midwife From Hell

Friday, May 12, 2017

The Death Photographer

The Death Photographer









Standing in Aminah’s room the door slowly opened and a head peeked through. There
was a Blondie lady standing in between the door smiling asking permission to come in. As
I gave her permission to move forward, she stepped in and shut the large door behind her.
She introduced herself as the nurse photographer. She walked over to me with a camera
around her neck and a bright red folder. She pulled a chair for me to sit down and she sat
loosely on the edge of Aminah’s bed. She began to open the bright red folder and out fell
two pieces of paper in front of me. I had seemed to catch them in thin air before they hit
the floor. Looking up at the nurse while arranging the papers she apologized and moved
on to why she was there.
The nurse photographer standing in front of me stated that she
worked for the hospital and she was there to offer me moments with my daughter
completely free of charge a courtesy of the hospital. I was confused looking at her as if
she was in the wrong room. “Photographer?” I asked, she shook her head and walked
over to the dry erase board in the corner next to the window and wrote her name and
contact information on it. “If you would like to have photos taken please contact me I
would love to capture your moments,” said the photographer. She walked over to the
table on her way out of the door and arranged the papers back in the bright red folder, she
brought the folder over to me and placed them in my hands, turned around and walked
out the door. I stood up and tossed the folder on top of my other belongings in the corner
of the room on the single couch. I found myself taking a deep breath to clear my
thoughts. I eased up out of my seat and walked over to Twin Aminah.
As I stood in front of her, I could not help but notice that her resemblance was not the same of her twin
sister even though they were identical I just did not see the resemblance. It was the
oxygen deprivation and all the medicines the hospital had her doped up on during her
stay. I knew those factors determined her rather sickly appearance. I hated seeing her like
that, so little and helpless. I did not want to leave her alone. My husband was not strong
enough for the visits. I found myself fighting for time with her, for he thought it was a
waste of time because in his mind she was already gone. I was still fighting though. I had
to.Everything in me wanted her to recover. I kept thinking about that photographer.
What was her purpose? What moments was she trying to capture? My baby was sick why
would anyone want to capture a sick baby. My mind began to wonder. I felt as though
she was some type of messenger, a messenger that I did not want to communicate with.
She made me feel uncomfortable when she was around. I did not like or understand her
acquaintance with me. The next time I seen her she was capturing moments before my
baby died. I knew there was something about her.



To be continued……..

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

The Night Nurse

The Night Nurse 


Old, Pale, and Fragile, The Night Nurse introduced herself by writing her name on the white board in Aminah’s room.  She walked right over to Aminah and began her routine vitals check.  She looked up at me and smiled. “How is she doing today?” The night nurse asked. “She is the same as the day before”, I replied. I immediately walked over to twin Akilah crying for milk in her car seat.  I carefully picked Akilah up and out of her car seat and began to playfully bounce her around while pacing the floor of Aminah’s room.  The walking around Aminah’s room was not pleasing twin Akilah’s cries.  Walking over to the single couch sitting in the corner of the room I began to prop Akilah for a feeding.  As I began to pull my breast out to feed, I noticed the nurse pulling the curtain surrounding me, allowing me privacy while breast-feeding.  Apart of me felt helpless, unable to feed both of my babies at the same time as I planned to before the birth of them both.  I was feeling disconnected from Aminah.  Our bond was breaking right before my eyes.  I tried to relieve my thoughts my stress.  I noticed the more I worried the less milk my body was able to produce.  Although Aminah was in a bad situation I still breastfed her.  I pumped milk heavily the same milk as Akilah and better yet she deserved what all my children had and that was breast milk. The night nurse would always try to peruse me to just formula feed her.  I refused. The night nurse would constantly commend me for my strength however I considered it my role as a mother.  As I finished feeding twin Akilah I walked over to twin Aminah I noticed she had been sponge cleaned, new onesie, bandages, and her curly hair slicked down.  I thanked the nurse for doing the one job I could not do, give my daughter her first bath.  My heart broke into pieces while holding Twin Akilah.  The night nurse excused herself and told me if I needed anything to give her a buzz.  I smiled; she walked out and shut the door behind her.  Still holding Akilah I walked over to Aminah’s side and ran my fingers through her curly hair, purposely messing up the slick, pressed look the nurse gave her.  I laughed and told Aminah, Does she not know your hair is naturally curly not straight?”  My hands grazed her little arms and fingers.  All the tubes scared me.  All I wanted to do was hold her but that task had to be approved and much help was going to be needed, so, I just stood there and looked at her perfect body wishing she could come home with me. 


The Midwife From Hell

Friday, April 28, 2017

Chapters for the book The Midwife From Hell, Release Date Aug, 25th, 2017

The Midwife From Hell Book release date is August 25th, 2017. Here are a sneak peak chapters in the book.

If you are interested in Pre-Ordering the book you can submit a form or simply just click on the Buy Now Button on the sidebar.









* The Bathroom

*. The Day After

* The Car Ride Blues

* The Death Photographer

* Husband's Grief

* The Night Nurse

* The Phone Call

* Depression

* Missing Twin Sydrome

The Midwife From Hell





Laying in a puddle of blood on top on a gurney my second baby was born.
Lifeless, pale, blue, and silent. My vision seemed to be blurry as though I was watching a horror movie through the lens of a camera. I knew something was wrong and the Midwife was not there. Something was very wrong

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Images of Twin A Memoir of A Surviving Twin

                            Twin Akilah

                 Twin Akilah and Cousin

Akilah is such a ball of energy. She is so articulate, smart, and such a diva. She is very emotional and sweet. She is bold and has a very good memory. I tell her all the time that she is a twin. She knows what twin means. For some reason twin books, shows,and presents all come in some type of twin form to her like a special gift from someone special.

I call Akilah "Ibeji" Which is African for twin representation. I also call her "Twin". I call her these names so she will always known she is special and was born special and survived under special circumstances.

When I upload these images I see her within Akilah my beautiful sweet Aminah.



The Midwife From Hell

Monday, February 20, 2017

The Negro Child Birth Politician

Every now and then someone reaches out to me. They have read my blog and feel inspired to share their stories. It would be such a beautiful experience if more women could come from under the bed and not be afraid anymore. Sure discussing experiences with each other always helps the soul but informing all women should be the focus.

I have tried to partner with many people but somehow I have been told that my blog is to political. πŸ˜•πŸ˜•πŸ˜•.

At first I though about it for a moment. It may be. Wow, just what the world needs a Negro childbirth politician.

I am so tired of having to meet other peoples standards to fit in. I will not change the depth of the content.

My message is always the same be smart when birthing at home.

Signing off Dreah Louis
The Midwife From Hell



Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Saying Goodbye Memoirs




                                   Sometimes words can't express how you feel.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Who can Attend a Grievance hearing

Rachel discussing through email who can attend the Grievance hearing.
Right out of the horses mouth.

Rachel explaining the grievance process

Here is a email from Rachel explaining the Grievance process.

I guess she forgot about me

I guess she forgot about me because she never responded back. Typical from Rachel. 😠😠😠😠




Within Her

Sitting at the park remembering that night. Wondering if that midwife thinks about Aminah as much as I do. My thoughts are always on overload, knowing that I could have did something different that night. The midwife could have did something different.
Twin Akliah and Daddy

As I watch twin Aminah play on the Merry-Go-Round with her siblings, I can't help but to feel sad because she is missing her other half. She knows she is a twin but she doesn't know the feeling of what it's like to truly be a twin. I feel she was robbed. We were robbed.
Twin Akilah with face paint

Twin Akilah



The mother in me just will not give up on Aminah even though her flesh is gone. When I first lost Aminah a part of me wanted to hide because I was ashamed of my choices. A part of me was furious, my rage was real and strong.

I felt like the MMA (Missouri. Midwife .Association) failed me. I felt like NARM (North American Registry of Midwives) failed me. My lawyer failed me. Most of all the Midwife failed me.

When looking at the pictures just know this is the same flesh that didnt get a chance. I am blessed to have her. Within her I see Aminah.


The Midwife From Hell

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Pregnant Again


Singleton?
Or
Twins?


I just found out on New Years eve πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

Follow my blog for new updates on this pregnancy.
Also Follow The Midwife From Hell blog for more updates on midwives and accountability.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Running away from Accountability

There is not a day that goes by that I dont think about Twin Aminah. The most painful part about May 24, 2013 is she didn't have to die. Not only did she not have to die Aminah nor my family received any recourse for her death. Her death was kicked under a rug. There were many people responsible that night for the condition of my new born baby. The midwife system is very corrupt and very trendy. Don't let these women fool you. You know, the home birth enthusiast, the midwives, the doulas, NARM, or the private owned ultasound businesses.

NARM and their midwives are running away from accountability. These CPA's want to birth babies at home with no accountability. Meaning if something happens they are going to run behind NARM and NARM and their state Associations will protect them.

So many babies have died in the hands of unqualified midwives and it has to stop. Of course birthing at home can be a beautiful moment but also know it can turn into a nightmare really quick. Be smart and weigh all your options and most importantly RESEARCH YOUR MIDWIFE.

Criminal checks/background check
Check for sanctions
Research complaints
Research address
Drive to Businesss locations
Visit home if possible
Ask about deaths
Ask about birth injuries
Check miwife certification with NARM

NEVER PAY A MIDWIFE ALL COST UPFRONT.

This blog means so much to me through Aminah we hope to educate and bring awareness to midwives from hell.



🌹DreahLouis
The Midwife From Hell

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