Sunday, December 7, 2014

The Midwife Court System

It's unfortunate the midwives have the satisfaction of having their own court system. Meaning they are the judge, jury, and the attorney. It's not fair it just how the midwife rules go. When something goes wrong with a home birth the parents have the satisfaction of knowing that they will not get a fair trail. There are many home birth disaster stories out on the web and many have not received any justice in their unfortunate case where the midwife was indeed responsible for the death or birth injury of a child. 

The even sadder case is that midwives and government officials see nothing wrong with midwives governing themselves. Of course, I would assume that midwives wouldn't mind having complete control over what happens to their fellow practitioners but in all reality many births have been hidden and swept under the rug. It is no secret that midwives will try to protect themselves from the law. They will do any and everything necessary to make sure that nothing goes to trial and no one is prosecuted. That means even if they have to lie and shuffle around paperwork, and not call your or even return emails they will do it.

Most midwives are so loving and compassionate when things are going right. So nurturing they are, but as soon as something has went wrong and their name is being mentioned in hindsight regarding a death of a child or a birth injury the midwife will change faces. She will become your worst enemy. When my daughter died I was and still am very furious not just because I made the decision to home birth but because I trusted someone who failed me and ran. Her fellow midwife family protected her.They made it possible for her not to show up and face my husband and I at the Grievance Process. Actually the MMA (Missouri Midwife Association) made it very possible for the midwife to not even have to deal with us parents. They helped the midwife run. They did everything in their power to slow up my Grievance Process and they made sure that no punitive action was the outcome although they knew deep down in their hearts that she was definitely neglectful that night.

What is the point here that I am trying to make? There is a whole home birth community out there with many women in it. It is set up like a cult. With online videos, books, TV shows, movies, well known midwives, celebrities that have home birthed and so on that help women make decisions regarding having a home birth. What a mother must know is that certain details have been hidden from you in order to portray that home birth is really safe but in all reality it can be safe and a lot of times it is but things to go wrong at home and just know that if something does go wrong at home there will be nothing that you can do about it because the midwives are governed by themselves and that my friend is a scary situation.

I don't try to scare women out of giving birth at home but I do try to make them aware of the circumstances that they are putting them self in and their unborn child all for the safe of being able to say that a having a home birth was achieved. I'm sorry it's just not worth the life of yourself or your unborn child that you have carried in your womb for so long to have it all taken away in a matter of seconds.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Wrongful Death Claims

Believe me I am trying. The events of that night and flashbacks about the negligence that I received is what still flashing through my memory bank. I can;t believe it, it's been over a year that my baby Aminah has been dead and I am still fighting for her. No matter how much my life has continued on I still feel I need to fight for my daughter.

Today Aminah, I called a couple more attorneys and the second one pretty much laughed in my face and hung up the phone. How you died daughter, was tragic and sad. The way that people in charge around me acted at the time of your entrance into the world was horrible. I wish I could take the night back and do it all over again.

Having a baby at home is serious business. It takes a lot of knowledge and preparation. Midwives are so disconnected from the law its scary. I remember going to the Malpractice Insurance Lobby Assembly in Jefferson City. Even the lawmakers are detached from the idea that midwives don't have to be held legally responsible for birth injuries or death. I don't think that most women know that. I think that most women when they choose to home birth they really don't wonder, "What If Something Bad Happens, What Will I DO?"

The attorneys and the legal heads are so uneducated about midwives or even home birth They are not even aware that babies are dying at home and being born mentally challenged due to birth negligence.

These nurses that work for the law firms are so uneducated on home birth that their approach of asking questions and gathering information is bias-is. They judge you instead of seeing right into the circumstances. Although the fight is tough I will continue with or without the support.

Peace and Blessings Twin Aminah
I dedicate the struggle to You and your Life.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

I Am So Tired ........

 I am so tired of people linking my blog. I guess when I started the blog I didn't think about all the people that would be exploiting me and my daughter. That's why I set up a paid subscription. When I go to my statistics page and I see that there is traffic coming to my blog I always go to the source to find out who has linked my blog and what they are talking about.

First of all the titles of the post are so disturbing, especially from the Doctor bloggers. They really have no compassion. They just write to get readers and they do not get permission to even use women's stories in their blog, they just do it.

One doctor told me that they did not have to get permission to use my story, they said I uploaded my blog for the world to read and they were not going to be taking it down. I said, "Oh Really?" So I rather no one read my blog then people just wanting to read a story to talk about me in forums.

Again I feel like I have to say this. My blog is for educational purposes only NOT for exploitation reasons and there is a big difference. As a mother of a child that was lost to home birth believe me you know the difference between someone being respectful of your blog material and someone who is being absolutely disrespectful while exploiting you.

The paid subscription is for people who actually want to follow my story, not just lurk to see what I am up to. I find that a lot of women have been doing that. Lurking. They don't comment or say anything in the content that I have written. It's getting kind of old.

No subscription, No read, Sorry

It's for the better. If you don't want to pay then you don't need to read the blog anyway.

Dreah Louis
The Midwife From Hell

Saturday, October 18, 2014


Yes I said it! My Blog is My Blog. I put up the information and I develop the titles in which I speak about. As Dr. Amy Tutuer has told me via email that, I put up my blog for the whole world to read and she did not have to get my authorization.That may be true but in all reality it just shows that you really have no respect for the cause and the only reason why your blog is relevant is because you exploit women and their dead injured babies. LETS CALL IT HEALTH GOSSIP. That is what your blog is health gossip. For my blog is for EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. Not for exploitation. The Blog The Midwife From Hell is my blog. I do not appreciate the linked traffic to my blog for non educational purposes.To all the women who have link this blog to share statistical facts and to have heated debate about hospital birth vs. home birth. It is disrespectful to the original blogger and most likely permission was not obtained.

Specifically to Dr. Amy Tutuer your blog is completely irrelevant. You throw in a few charts some statistics  I have relevant information regarding conformed consents, assessment of midwives, policies/regulations, certifications, and how the grievance process works and so much more information. Instead of exploiting my daughter and I all over your blog I would suggest that you also relay that information.

To all the other women that just lurk on my blog meaning you don't comment or share the education, you just tune in to my birth story and stalk every post I write to see what I am up to I find that also disgusting and I don't mind sharing that.

I understand that most women that read my blog are white women and indeed have anything in common with me but if your are reading my blog you can do more than just lurk.

Twin Aminah is my daughter and yes I delivered my set of twins at home, and yes one of my twins died. The midwife didn't show for my birth and didn't follow through properly on the grievance.
There is deep rooted hated for the midwifery system right now.

When I write I write from experience not opinion when people read my writing they confuse the things that I say as ideal and not fact because I am not a doctor or medical researcher.

This blog is my blog please do not disrespect this online memorial for my daughter, a journey of her life, a memory of her mothers gifts, and research on her entrance into life. I deserve that much respect.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Racism In Health Care


To all the women on the Skepitcal OB Forum that commented and said that I was wrong.

Screw You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To Dr. Amy

I still think your a bitch for taking my daughters name and using it on your website without my consent and also for exploiting me in a time when I was grieving.

Screw You Too!

Thursday, October 9, 2014


Ibeji mean "twin" in Yoruba. One soul two bodies. Twin are considered magical. My mother gave me these as a symbol of the birth of my twins. This isn't the first set that she has given me but this is my favorite.
Aminah is the one in the purple and I keep them in a special place in my home. Normally what the Africans do is have wood carvings made of the twin that passed and they keep them in sacred places and they do rituals with the Ibeji's as remembrance and spiritual balance for the surviving twin.

The culture believes that the second twin born is a spiritual messenger to the first twin before entrance into the world. What the Yoruba tribe believes is before both twins are born the second twin tells the first twin to show if the world or life will be good or bad by crying in the spiritual world. Based on the cries in the spiritual world before the birth of the first twin will determine if the second twin will be born alive or stillborn.

The Yoruba tribe also believes that the second twin born is the elder because it sends the first twin on a spiritaul errand. They also believe that the first twin is the quieter and calmer of the two. When twins are born they carry one soul the same soul. One is considered to be the spiritual one  and the other is considered the mortal one.  A lot of people of the village experience high child death rates and they believe that if one twins passes at a young age the surviving twin will be off balance so many women of the village do rituals with the Ibeji wooden carvings to balance the soul of the existing twin. 

I find it beautiful that although I was born in American sub consciously my mother and I are still carrying out a genetic spiritual religion from a far away land. Although these are just dolls I feel apart of the Yoruba tribe. My long lost home. I will make sure that I keep these type of sacred items for my daughter and teach her of her existence and birth experience which makes her so very important and special. I will always let her know that she will always and forever be an Ibeji.

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

21 Weeks Pregnant

Didn't think that I would be back in this situation again so soon but I guess so. Here is me again pregnant 21 weeks and not a day goes by where I don't think about my Twin Aminah that did not survive my home birth. How I wish that I could take back moments but I can't. A mother's love runs deeper than an ocean for the love of her children. I know many mothers that have lost babies due to many reasons. I just want to always remember that your short life has humbled me as a woman. Regardless of what people think about me, no one loves you and thinks about you more than I do. God blessed me with your counterpart twin Akilah. Every day I look at her I think about you because she is you and you are her. A true example of dual existence.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Home Birthing While Black

Most people would say she was just a bad midwife but NO she took me as a client because I didn't have a problem paying her every time she seen me you just know if somebody is treating you different because of your skin color.
The Midwife treated me different from the rest of her clients. I was told after my daughter died that the midwife did not give me the best care and it was probably because she was uncomfortable in my black environment.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Research On The Midwife Is Crictical

Research, Research, and more Research we all do it. We research anything we want to know when we need immediate answers to questions that we are unsure of. The question is how much research is enough when deciding to homebirth? The answer to this question is that you can never stop researching your midwife and all the attributes of homebirth. When choosing to homebirth of course all women are exciting about the idea of doing something different something out of the "norm" but in all reality you have to be prepared if your home birth does not go the way you plan. There are many steps that you can take to ensure that you can experience the best quality home birth but beware that here are still may risk associated with a home birth rather if it's planned or not planned.

One of the problems with researching home birth you can do a risk assessment on your home birth but you can not predict the day you will go into labor and you definitely can not predict how long you will be in labor. As a mother I know we all feel like we know our bodies and we trust that nature can take its course but sometimes nature has a plan of its own and every midwife is not qualified enough to handle every situation that may occur.

Midwives are licensed through NARM  which basically means they get all of their education and certification through this organization of midwives. Just because a midwife completes appropriate courses and training does not mean that the midwife is qualified for the job. A lot of midwives do have deaths on record and they will not talk about them with you as a client because of the taboo but by all means still ask. It is important to know how many babies have died under their care and what happened. It is your responsibility to ask these questions because the midwife will not just tell you. It is important to now what and who you are dealing with.

Also one of the worst things that can happen at a birth is the midwife to be late. There is no room for that and being late to a birth can cause a lot harm and can live the family in a situation of an unassisted home birth. A lot of women have had midwives all the way up to the delivery date to have the midwife extremely late resulting in a baby being delivered by the mother and father. The parents are just so happy that their bundle of joy has arrived that they don't even fault the midwife for being late or not being there at all. This is a major problem.

If you are choosing to homebirth it is important to have more than one midwife on the job. This could be more expensive but in the long run it could help you just in case your midwife can not be on time.
Where a midwife lives is important also. You have to honestly find out where your midwife lives NOT where she does business. These are sometimes to different places. Travel time is very important when it comes to a labor and delivery. Even at the hospital can not be at the birth there are other doctors in the hospital that are on call for the event. Better safer than sorry.

Also still remember that midwives are not required to carry malpractice insurance so if something does go wrong it will be nothing that can be done to reimburse you for any pain and suffering that is a major pill to swallow. At the end of the day all midwives are not bad midwives they have been here since the beginning of time but everyone that claims to be a certified trained midwife is not. Take the words from a mother that has experienced the worst case delivery and midwife.

Thanks for reading The Midwife from Hell

Monday, September 1, 2014

I Hate The Midwife

My brain will never let me forget how The Midwife From Hell, Joann Falcon stood me up for the birth of my twins. How she didn't treat my pregnancy important is disturbing to me. Sometimes I sit back and rewind the event in my head. I remember calling her three days before the day I went into labor because I had threw up really bad and I just didn't feel good. I called her on her phone and told her that I was having contractions but they weren't regular.She asked me if I thought she should come? I was telling her that I was calling because I didn't now if it was normal to throw up so close to the due date. I had told her that I had not threw up any during the pregnancy. She asked me how far apart the contraction were and I said that they came and went every three or four hours or so. She then told me that I was not in labor and to call her when they were closer together.
As a patient was I not entitled to a visit that day. Maybe she should have came and checked me, my vitals, the heartbeats, my cervix, you know all that good stuff to at least see if the babies were coming soon. As a matter of fact she never checked my cervix one time during the pregnancy to see how far I had dilated. She never did any ultrasounds, no lab work. I didn't think anything was wrong really I would say mainly because she stressed how all that stuff was not necessary.

When I did feel the contractions come on I did exactly what she asked me to do call back. On May 24,2013 I called her when they were closer together. This midwife asked me how far apart and I told her every 5 minutes. I just sit back now and think about how five minutes is really together (contractions, I mean). That's when I should have high tailed it to the hospital but I didn't. Do you know why I didn't because I trusted the midwife's judgment. She tells me to prepare for the birth and she was on her way. Instead I should have been on my way to the hospital. Now one of my babies is gone and she is still delivering babies like she never had a hand in my daughters death. She has this Facebook page where she is completely not honest about her dealings as a midwife. She never told her friends that she is currently being sanctioned by NARM. She never told her friends that she did not show to a dead babies grievance meeting. She mentions on her facebook page when she delivers healthy babies but does not mention when a baby dies. Never on her page did she talk about my daughters death.

Why would that be something that a midwife would want to talk about? Is it because women would become scared? See the problem with midwifery, babies do die at home but the midwives don't openly talk about death. It is like they hide it because of some type of taboo. Death is never even talked about at all in the midwife community. They just talk about the healthy babies they deliver. That is so contrary to the real and it is absolutely disgusting.

If your a midwife and you can glorify all your healthy births you can most definitely talk about your deaths.

Dreah Louis
Writer of The Midwife From Hell

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Monday, August 4, 2014

Dead By Homebirth

No one can predict the future. No one knows what tomorrow holds. Life can change in a second. Since Aminah passed I have had a new outlook on life. Loosing a child is hard no matter what the age is. No one should have to loose any child especially not to home birth. Recently I have been networking and I have run into so many women who I use to think just like. I would ask the same questions and dive into everything about home birth that I could get my hands on. If I could change just one girls opinion on home birth that is a delicate gesture towards the death of my daughter. I mean "a gift of gratitude". If I could let one woman know that her decision to home birth is more than just a decision. It's a decision and home birth has become something like a cult.

When I say cult  I mean home birth has become something like a movement of people that believe in this dream of natural child birth. Most of the time this movement sway women away from hospitals to indulge in the gimmick of how safe home birth is and how no interventions are necessary. There is so much material on home birth that it now sickens me and the same books on the shelf that I went to for information on home birth are still out there. The same youtube videos, the same Ricki Lake documentaries "The Business of Being Born." I was so intertwined with the idea of home birth that I forgot that something could go wrong Why? Well, lets say that the risk are not being talked about.

Who should be talking about these risk? The home birth advocates that are pushing women into this direction on home birth. I know that most women that have home birth say that the risk were talked about with them. I pretty sure they were. Did your midwife show you a video of a home birth disaster. Did she tell you about babies that have died in the community at home births. Probably not.  I know that a birth can not be predicted. I wish I would have predicted mine because I would have ran to the hospital and risk having my baby on the side of the road then to sit at home and wait on a midwife that never showed. The point I am getting at is that you don't want your baby dead by home birth.

I always do mention that I did have one baby at home that is perfectly healthy. Meaning if I was having only one baby that night the most I could say is that Thank God my baby is alive because the midwife didn't show up but I was giving birth to twins and things happened differently. I got to keep one and I am grateful for that because I have seen and listened to horrific stories where the mother and the baby are dead by home birth.  

I use to speak down on hospitals as if we don't need them. Even though my daughter still died and the hospital could not save her I would always wonder what the outcome would have been if I decided not to home birth.

Lets not have anymore Dead By Home Birth

Friday, August 1, 2014

Midwifery Confusion

Being a Midwife is a very serious job. Under rated if you ask me. Just the thought alone that a woman has the sole responsibility of helping deliver babies into the world. There is only one problem with this thought. What If your midwife doesn't show up? What is a woman to do? I can tell you one thing, it's certainly not the woman's fault for the midwife being late or not showing up to a birth at all. You must go into home birth knowing just that.

Home birth is risky and hospital births are risky to but there is just a bit of a difference. Might I add more people on staff or shall we say "stand by". My problem with home birth is that there is no tracking method. You know? There is no way of tracking your birth through a system. There is no accountability at the beginning of this home birth thing, but by all means if that's what you as the mother wishes for and the family is to have a birth off the meter ( off the radar,) home birth indeed is for you.

Home birth is all good until it goes wrong and believe me it does go wrong and who are going to tell? Your state officials, the police department, who? Who is going to listen to you? I Can tell you one thing there is confusion in midwifery because delivering babies is a serious business and it is not being taken serious. These midwives are overbooking themselves, driving long distances, poorly trained, and are claiming to specialize in everything under the sun.

Midwifery confusion is a midwife trying to stay away from the hospitals because they do not believe in the way hospitals do things But turn around in some instances and have to run to the same hospitals for help depriving their education and training and blind their clients of their risk assessment from the beginning.

Midwifery needs some help!

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Remembering When It was Only Two

My Oldest Daughter  Abayomi Simone and My Son Akin Selassie. Wow this picture was a while ago. Now my son is three and his sister is five just about to start school. Mother hood is a beautiful thing no matter what life throws your way. Embrace the experience and love you children beyond limits. Move mountains for your children and fight for them until they are able to fight for their self.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Illinois Midwives Crossing Over to Missouri Becomes a Problem

Midwives who reside in Illinois should not be able to cross into Missouri to deliver babies. Midwives should not travel outside of their state to deliver babies at all for time safety issues. This right here can be one step forward towards home birth safety. I mean if CPM's can not legally deliver babies at home in the state of Illinois why should it be okay for them to travel to states surrounding to deliver. This is a mssajor problem for many reasons.

1. Although as a midwife they may work in the state of missouri they do not live in the state which makes traveling necessary to get to clients. We all now that all babies may not wait for the midwife. This is not a risk that a mother should have to consider. Midwives that do not reside may not deliver.

2. If something goes wrong with your birth and your midwife is not stationary, she travels its really hard to locate her. She's like a snake slithering through without being seen in and out of town.

3. The laws are different in both states. CPM practicing in Illinois can be prosecuted for delivering in Illinois. So if you needed to prosecute a midwife for any reason you will be conflicted on so many different aspects.

4. If your midwife is coming to you your missing out on finding out who your midwife really is. I mean this woman is delivering yout baby you should be able to get personal with your midwife but how can you get the whole scoop on the midwife is she is leaving her life in another state.

5. Midwives set up businesses with the IRS in Missouri with Missouri addresses usually linked with missouri family or friends that live here but truely as Illinois residents. This is a legal problem that must also be addressed.

This list can go on but the point that I am making is there is some issues that we as a community need to look at when it comes to this home birth thing.

Let me give you an example in my case. Both midwives that was apart of my birth incident are Illinois residents meaning at the end of business day they go home to ILLINOIS to sleep. Which means if you have to travel to Missouri to deliver a baby you could be very late. The thing with these midwives is they lie to their clients and tell them that they live in Missouri in all reality they don't. They set up a business with the Irs in Missouri and according to the IRS they can now consider theirselves residents.

Shannon Anton sent me a letter a few weeks ago telling that Joann's recommendations were sent back to her office as returned mail. This is the Missouri address that I am talking about. The Cape Missouri address. So the mail had to be resent to her Illinois address.

Absolutely misleading and this could result in many baby deaths.

Continuing to educate the women that really want to know the facts. Midwives lie to.

Monday, June 9, 2014

It Really Boils Down to This

First and foremost I would like to say that for all who did not know that I am a Black Woman, I AM! I can't help but to mention that because it is relevant to my case. It has been relevant all of my life and sad to say as an adult it has not changed. I still to this day experience racism along my journey of life often. My birth incident and what happened to my daughter Aminah and our family is just one of the so very incidents that I can know highlight in my life as a colored woman. The treatment that my family received during pregnancy and post pregnancy is clear that racism in the eyes of the United States of America has not changed.

Most woman that read my blog are non-black woman of course. As I mentioned before most black woman are not birthing at home in this century. Since after Jim Crow laws when blacks begin to integrate with whites we black women were initiated into the hospital system and this is where we stayed. We no longer had to be treated like slaves in nasty unsanitary environments while giving birth to our babies. Now technology has advanced and the treatment given to blacks has changed a little giving the impression that everyone that enters into a hospital environment is treated equal but I know better.

I can't help the frustration when I read Articles from non creditable sources on issues that they can not really relate to. I mean my name has been dragged under the rug on many blogs as if I am not reading. If one is to mention my daughters name in a blog please find out all the facts first.


Me being a black woman makes this fight a lot harder because in order to get results and to get someone to take me serious the person has to be able to over look my skin color and all the stereotypes that people act like don't exist. Hear what I am saying. A lot of woman say that color doesn't matter (most of the time this is said by my non-black counterparts). The fact of the matter is that color does matter people just don't talk about it out loud.

A prime example of what I am talking about. When my husband and I showed to the grievance meeting at the church with our twin daughter the room was filled with white midwives. When Rachel (head of the the grievance) told me that Joann was not going to be there. I told her that was typical for Joann. I then told her that I felt as though Joann had not given us best prenatal treatment because of our race. One midwife said that she felt that our treatment did relate to our race and she wondered if my husband and I were going to feel uncomfortable there at the grievance due to the fact the everyone in the room was white.

This was said to me at the grievance but i mean each is its all. I can't help how someone else feels about me. When I was at the grievance telling my story the peer midwives were utterly surprised on the treatment  that my family received.


I just want to let mothers know that home birth is dangerous don't just take the words of a doctor take the words of a scorned mother.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

More Education is the Verdict

Shannon Anton from NARM sent the grievance decision on my daughters birthday May 24,2014. I received a certified letter in the mail stating that there focus is on Joann to receive more education rather than punitive action. The letter list the things that Joann is to do in order to keep her license active.. I am just now writing this post because I was disgusted by the decision at first but then I told myself how could I be upset about this outcome. I already knew what this grievance was really about

I guess the only thing left to do is educate women on the dangers of home birth

#signing off one pissed momma

Friday, May 16, 2014

Joann Falcon & Jennifer Konkol's Statements of Birth Incident

These are a few documents that I want mommies to see. These are the statements of the two midwives involved in the death of my daughter Aminah. These statements had to be made by both midwives in response to my complaint. The Missouri Midwives Association peers reviewed these statements and my complaint and asked questions based on the events of the night.

Forgive me if the images are to small to read. I tried for a very long time to turn these pdf files into a picture file so that they may be viewed on my blog.

If you notice the midwife Joann's statement was only two short pages. Very sad.

By the way these statements are the closest thing to accountability with hearing personally how the incident happened that night in the eyes of the two midwives involved.

Below are the first two pages of Joann Falcons statement that I did not see until I went to the Grievance meeting. These statements were not given to me by the midwife herself but by Rachel the president of MMA.

These next 7 pages are Jennifer Konkol's statement which she herself presented to me at the Grievance Meeting. A lot people feel as though that I am wrong for bashing Jennifer. I have calmed down since the grievance meeting because AT LEAST SHE SHOWED UP. I gave her credit for that. What I can not do is lie about what happened that night and Jennifer was not experienced with twin delivery.

The Grievance Process is very timely and frustrating. If any mother needs assistance with proceeding with a grievance complaint. Please contact me.
Thank You

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Questioning the Unthinkable

How many woman's babies died at home from a planned home birth and the mother did not file a Grievance?

I know that there are many but woman are scared about speaking out about their decision to home birth after it has went bad. At first it was hard for me to speak out because I was mourning. I was in another world when my twin daughter died. Apart of me died and my family wanted answers. The hospital question came up so much. "Why didn't you go to the hospital."  I eventually just stopped telling people that I lost my twin but there were those people who knew I was pregnant with twins and only see one (this is when the question would come up). I had to except the fact that my daughter died and it was because I chose to home birth. When I started this blog I never said that I didn't hold myself partly responsible for my daughters death.

This blog is a Memoir of Aminah and her fight and struggle. It is my dedication to my daughter. I hope she is pleased in the after life to still consider me as her creator, mother and teacher. For my relationship with my daughter is more than just physical but a spiritual assurance of her existence.

Knowledge is something that is worth much more than money and if I can help other women with exposing the truth about home birth and what midwives are capable of is delightful.

If you are truly a good midwife my blog is no threat to you.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Shannon Anton Accountability

Women Meet Shannon Anton. She is a midwife with NARM. (North American Registry of Midwives). She is the person (midwife) in charge of accountability. Meaning if you place a complaint this midwife will be overseeing the Grievance process. All of the recommendations come to Shannon from the state midwife association. I have spoken with Shannon on many occasions about the grievance process as well as the complaint. I started my grievance process when my daughter died in June of 2014. The grievance is still in process and it has actually been in limbo because I went to Jefferson City in support of HB 2189. This is the last email I received it was on March 19, 2014.

Shannon Anton
To Me
Mar 19
Dear Andrea,

I am contacting you from the NARM board, we spoke on the phone in early January. I chair the Accountability committee. As you know, NARM is the agency that administers the midwifery credential Certified Professional Midwife, CPM.

Your complaint was initially sent to the Missouri Midwives Association, and eventually to our committee.
NARM provides a mandatory process for addressing a complaint against a CPM. Local Missouri CPM Rachel Williston agreed to chair the NARM Complaint Review, which occurred in February. After the Complaint Review group met and heard your complaint, they continued to meet and discuss their findings. Earlier this week I received their outcome statements and am currently reading their evaluations and recommendations.

Based on the statements I've received from the Complaint Review participants, it is now my job to draft the official NARM Complaint Review outcome. My initial draft will be sent to Rachel Williston for her review and edits, and then on to the NARM board for their approval of the final draft.

I will then send the NARM Complaint Review outcome letter to you, the midwives, and Rachel Williston. Rachel will share it with her Complaint Review group. I hope to complete this process by the end of next week, which is the end of March.

I apologize for the delay between Rachel's sending her committee's statements, and my receiving them. Our little post office overlooked her package and it sat in their claim area for several days, it was noticed yesterday when my PO box had notice of another package that didn't fit in our box.

Thank you again for your participation in NARM Complaint Review.
Shannon Anton CPM

For some odd reason I feel like she is avoiding me.  If I'm not mistaking she said, " I hope to complete this process by the end of next week which is the end of March." It's clear that she is holding the process up. I know why though. It's okay because all midwives can't be saved from the horrific murders of children. I chose to speak out about my daughters death and If I had to do it over again I'd speak louder. I just want other women to see what type of accountability you are dealing with if your baby dies from home birth.

If your baby dies at home there will be nothing that you can do about it. You will be told to suck it up and to swallow your tongue. These midwives will interrogate you like police and question you decisions only to shift the blame. The name of the game is called blame. They feel like if they play with the mother and fathers mind enough about the birth disaster maybe they will forget about the complaint overall.

That's why I started this blog. To tell other women to run the hell away from midwives and run right into the hospital. Your baby is safer there then at home in the hands of no accountability.

With that being said.......
continuing on my hunt for the midwife from hell

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

The Effect Home birth has had on my children

Because my home birth was unassisted my children were greatly effected by home birth. especially my oldest because believe it or not she is old enough to remember what happened that night. When my husband and I made the decision to home birth I really did picture my two children and my husband standing along side of the birthing pool with the midwife but unfortunately my home birth did not happen anything like I envisioned. It actually happened the exact opposite of perfect. Even to this day my oldest daughter talks about that night. She asks questions about what was happening and she asks questions about what happened in the hospital when Aminah was there. I had to find kind words for my daughter. I had to describe in a child friendly way what happened that night. Still to this day if one of my children gets sick and needs to go to the hospital they show concern in the face because their memories of  that day have embarked a place in their memories that will last forever.

Making a choice to home birth is a serious decision that should be review and contemplated as often as possible all the way up to the day of birth. Ask yourself is the decision something that you want or is it something you desire? If so, for what reasons do you seek home birth? Because at the end your thoughts I have a hundred reason to change your mind about home birth. Although I am not a professional in the medical field but my daughters death has made me more aware and knowledgeable about home birth. It has made me more bold, blunt, and not so nice when interacting with people I don't know personally.   My problem in life is that I was taught to give people the benefit of the doubt until proven other wise but my gosh giving someone the benefit of the doubt can cost a life! That is serious my friend and I had to tell my father that indeed he did teach me that but I had to alter that. I tell my children give  no one the benefit of the doubt this world is rude and cruel and there are snakes out there waiting to devour in delight if they can read your brain chemistry.

Children are precious and many of our children have not been tainted by this cold world yet. I mean if you have nothing else in the world your WORD should stand tall but it doesn't because people will lie right in your face while they are taking your money. We are in trouble because capitalisim has made its way into midwifery and now babies are being born on money time. That's scary. Our children are imporatant and every child carried in the womb deserves to live.

I began to teach my children give no one the benefit of the doubt that will get in you in trouble. You can give someone the benefit of the doubt and they when rob you right while you looking at them. I tell my daughter that we live in the land where laws dictate people and their actions. Some people follow the rules and some people don't. Home birth affects everyone when a baby is lost. One thing I can say is that my oldest daughter was old enough to remember Aminah's birth and death. She can pass on the everlasting experience about home birth to her sister Twin Akilah.

My twin daughter was greatly affected by the loss of her sister. I could tell at the beginning. very much so There was many nights where nothing that I could do would stop her from crying. I would take here into the bathroom and hold her up in front of my mirror that is split into two (this mirror forms a double image of a person if standing in front). She would look into the mirror and see her two reflections and she would stop crying. It may sound weird but it is like she knows that something is missing but she is to young to tell me. This is what a midwife and the choice to home birth has done to me and my family.

I hope that Twin Aminah will always be remembered for one of the babies that had an affect on changing the law. Aminah did not survive but I plan to continue her life through knowledge. My daughter died so I can give other women the right knowledge about home birth.

I've said this before. "Birth where you are Protected".

Dreah Louis

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Missouri HB 2189 Metting

Never have I been to the Capitol building in my 28 years here on earth. The building architecture is beautiful. The lawn well manicured and the trees swayed beautifully in the spring wind as my husband, twin daughter and I rushed to appear at the 12 o clock hearing on HB 2189 on Wednesday April 16, 2014. I was asked by a few house members to appear to tell my story about my home birth disaster.

As I entered the Capitol Building I was mesmerised  by the history hanging all over the walls. Pictures of all the people responsible over the years for laws in Missouri. Indeed my husband and I did feel out of place because we were one of few African American in the building. Sad to see that there were not any African Americans on the wall kind of made me feel uncomfortable. To know that African Americans existence here is well know but know where did I see a face as the same color of my own on in the house. There were children there on field trips, universities visiting; touring. I was so lost the building felt so big to me.

With assistance from many people that morning I did find my way to the office of Diane Franklin. She introduced herself with a handshake and a Thank you for appearing. As we sat and waited for the hearing to begin I prepared myself for my testimony for the bill. I mean I kept telling myself, "how do you prepare for something that you have never done before?" I couldn't prepare enough.

When it was finally time for us to appear in the hearing room we did so. As we walked down to the hearing room my hands began to sweat and my heart began to race rapidly. You see this day was very important for my family and I not just because we were able to tell our story but because we have not had any justice for our daughter and this was the closest thing to that. As my husband and I waited patiently for the bill to be introduced I sat and thought about how many families this bill would help in the future.

Finally, Missouri House Bill 2189 was introduced by Diane Franklin she describe the importance of the bill and the specifics of the bill in particular, the amount that covers midwives and so forth. I was the first witness I was finally getting  my chance to tell people about this midwife and my home birth disaster to a group of people who have the power to change things. Indeed I did tell my birth disaster in five minutes and nervous I was but I did get my point across.

I support HB 2189 for future families because it will indeed help many. It will not bring back lives or change mental retardation but it does add some accountability to the situation. Right now NARM does not understand accountability. They have put Shannon Anton in charge of the accountability department. A dishonest woman she is. She will help these midwives hide deaths and she will protect these midwives. You see I have already done the necessary steps to a grievance. When a baby dies the only thing that you can do is to write a complaint to the Association. The association is not familiar with the proper way to conduct or hold a grievance review.  If there is no malpractice insurance then all a family has left is to file a grievance.

I did everything that I was suppose to do. I submitted all requested documents many times more than once. The midwives wanted me to give up and forget about my daughters death but I continued on because the way that my daughter died was brutal she was suffocated in my womb while I waited on the midwife. I never knew she was dying while I was waiting. Why? Because I am not a midwife. I hired a midwife for that very reason. To be the driver of the ship and she failed and my sink sank all the way to the bottom with passengers on it.

Regardless if the bill is passed. I will continue my quest of providing knowledge to woman who want it. Sometimes change is good and I know that the bill has not been passed and has been persued a few times but I feel as a mother that it can really do more good than harm.

Thanks all for who included me in a possible positive step into saving more babies and mothers.

+malpractice insurance
+Jefferson City

April 16, 2014

Dreah Louis

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Birth Where You Are Protected

This Chapter of the blog is important because it actually talks about hospital births vs home births something that midwives and doctors debate about all the time. Which is safer? Is a hospital birth safe? Is a home birth safer because of less interventions? My motto is better safer than sorry. I know that women are free to decide on which way to birth and the hospitals can be a little demanding on the way they process women. I believe that in all reality that doctors want to take the safest approach to birth. Do the same for all women = same results.

I truly believe that even in a home birth you need a team of people. I a good midwife is connected with good doctors and hospitals, even paramedics, cab drivers, police chiefs, and fire department. These team of people should have relationships with midwives. You need these people on your call list as a midwife in case you may need them one night and very quickly.

Hospitals and doctors are protected by insurance "just in case" and all home births have something called a grievance process and believe me as I said before you don't want to go through a grievance compliant review with midwives. The reason I say that is because it seems as though midwives are not prepared for death or event affected by a midwife's lack of education or simple time management. Midwives like to believe that the mother is at fault and these women kind of toy around with the concept of actual seriousness.

I believe that hospitals are around for a reason and I believe as a nation we have evolved to hospitals. We should embrace the hospital systems and keep home birth limited to well equipped birth centers and hospitals that tend to work with doctors not against doctors and ideas.

Some of us mothers get birth confused with numbers and statistics but under it all it comes down to live babies vs. dead babies and regardless of the path taken 1 dead baby is a baby too many.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Firing The Midwife

If your pregnant and your thinking about home birth let me first say that, "I was once in your shoes." I would dream of how the home birth was going to be. I daydreamed about having my babies at home natural. I believed in my body. I exercised everyday. I made all natural smoothies, meditated, listened to beautiful music. My husband and I talked to the babies and I felt both of them move everyday of my pregnancy. My pregnancy was beautiful and my belly stretched to the max. 40 weeks is along time to be pregnant 40 weeks is along time but everything was changed in minutes. All my time pregnant changed in minutes. I counted on a midwife that made bad judgment calls with me and the sad part about is that she wont even admit that she mislead me as a client.

I feel like race played a major part in my treatment. I mean me being a black women birthing at home maybe she felt uncomfortable and never told me. Maybe she didn't want too take me as a client and just didn't know how to tell me? Maybe, Maybe, Maybe. I blame myself a lot because I trusted a woman that I didn't know personally to deliver something so delicate and meaningful to our family and she failed us without a doubt. Sad to say she will probably continue to deliver babies but I hope that she never forgets about me and my family because she took something so valuable from us and we will never be able to get her back.

Sometimes lessons have to be learned the hard way. My job is to help other women not to have to learn this type of lesson the hard way. I'm telling women straight up to stay away from HOME BIRTH. Hospitals may put you through a lot of interventions but its worth the time that you put in nesting a baby your womb. You don't want a midwife to ruin that opportunity for you and your family. Your child deserves to live and although the hospital does overdo it often I can guarantee your more likely to come home with a live baby than choosing home birth.

As I said before Word of Mouth is sometimes not good enough. Personal responsibility is something that you will have to set yourself up for and that was not something as a mother that I really thought about when I was pregnant. I never thought that my midwife wasn't going to be at my birth. Never in a million years would I have thought that. There is absolutely no excuse for a midwife to not show for a whole birth. I don't care what anyone says. A lot of women give their absent midwives to much credit because they are so in love with the idea of home birth and they feel like they have to take some type of personal responsibility because midwives say. Home birth is risky point blank and I am here to say that there is no accountability for these midwives.  Being absent for a home birth  should not be tolerated at all.

WHY? You can't be counted on. Your fired. Why is it so hard to fire a midwife. Well as a mother who is and has been apart of the home birth community I AM FIRING JOANN FALCON.


Joann Falcon your career as a midwife is over turn in your license.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Accountability is Questionable

Does midwifery have true accountability?" My answer to that question is NO! Absolutely not. Based on my situation with my midwife experience there was absolutely no accountability. The midwife didn't even show up to a Grievance meeting about her actions. It took a whole year to get a meeting and the midwife does not show up! The midwives in charge of these grievance meetings make up the rules as they go. My goal is to let other moms know that you absolutely don't want to have to file a grievance because there is no accountability. Take it from a mother who has talked to politicians, lawyers, lobbyist, congressmen, district attorneys, midwives, doctors, nurses and police officers. There is no accountability with home birth if something goes wrong. All you will get is a dead or mental handicapped child and or funeral cost and fees and lets not forget to mention medical bills.

Come on who would want that for their self? Absolutely no one. So my advice is to play it safe in the hospital. Don't play rush and roulette at home with these midwives. My story is one of many and very sad but real. Every midwife is not Joanne but why wait to the birth to find out, then its to late. Sometimes word of mouth is not good enough to rely on by itself. Dig deep. Find your own accountability. Know the reasons you really want to have a home birth. I use to be so against hospitals but really we do need them and midwives are doing a good job to keep women out of them but then when something goes wrong you have to run too that very hospital that you tried to stay away from.

You don't want your child's birth to be a crime scene that a midwife is running from all along she is still delivering babies as if she didn't just murder a child. Putting other children and women at risk. Collecting money on a phony business is absolutely unfair to any mother seeking a natural stress free birth at home. People say using the word murder is to vivid, strong but that is how my birth happened. You see the midwife deceived me, lied to me, called her self helping by coaching over the phone when in all reality she should have called the ambulance to my home. Can you imagine following the lead of your midwife all the way up to the birth and because it all goes wrong at the end the midwives ask you  why you didn't call 911? That is an absolute slap in the face and a wake up call to let all other mothers know that your choosing home birth as a better option to hospital birth but don't let your midwife toy with your intelligence and your lines of questioning. You have lives on the line with no accountability knocking at your front door.

How can active midwives expect for mothers to trust them and home birth if there is no true accountability for the actions of a midwife

Monday, March 17, 2014

Home Birth Has left a Sour Taste in my Mouth

Unfortunately I must say that home birth has indeed left a sour taste in my mouth. Every time I think of a woman home birthing I see "Dead Babies". I cant get these images out of my mind. It is sick and disgusting how non serious these midwives are about mothers and babies. I'm sorry to every midwife who thinks they can deliver babies in "La La Land".  A lot of these midwives are so free spirited that they have forgotten about logic. When a woman chooses home birth she is not thinking about all the things that could go wrong and the midwife is not going to tell you about all the things that can go wrong because indeed it is a business and they don't want to scare their clients into hospitals now do they?

Some of these midwives are pitiful when it comes to home birth and their fairy ideas on how birth should be. I am shouting, "get out of the clouds" and pull some logic out a hat. Birthing babies at home is serious and there needs to be a serious team of people involved. Home birth in all reality should be just as much as a hospital birth because your going to have to pay a whole lot of people to make sure that that baby comes out live and healthy. Also midwives need to stop being so scared of hospitals and working with physicians because ultimately if something goes wrong you have to go there anyway.

Don't get me wrong some women have been lucky and many do have smooth, gracious, glory filled births at home with minimum assistant of any a midwife or a team. If a woman has a baby and she was unassisted by a midwife. THAT WAS DANGEROUS and I sure hope you didn't pay your midwife.The baby is going to come into the world with or without a midwife. Your paying a midwife to be extra hands, help, and most of all logic in the field of babies and labor.

Midwifery also has left a sour taste in my mouth because there is truly no accountability. The process alone is stressful and timely. It takes an extremely long time to place a complaint on a midwife. Most women faced with this circumstance will give up! The midwives will make you want to give up. I stuck to my grains and I did not give up for my daughter Aminah. This blog keeps her live everyday. My daughter is helping many mothers save their babies lives.

There needs to be more accountability with midwifery before I change my mind on home birth. Until then I will tell every other mother who is thinking about going down the path of home birth keep that sour taste in your mouth, never fully trust a midwife, do your research, and ask questions until your blue in the face. Make your midwife scared of you. Have a back up midwife just in case and never trust a midwife when she says that she doesn't have any deaths on her record.

To all the MIDWIVES FROM HELL I will never stop exposing you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Midwife Time Clock

For some reason I feel like midwives agree that it is okay to be extremely late to births. A birth is so unpredictable. I can not stress enough that each woman's body is unique and different. As a midwife you can not base one birth off of another birth. Midwife's can not play around with time. If as a midwife you have chosen to take on a client and you realize that you stay more than 30 minutes away from her than that's way too far! Thirty minutes is even pushing it if you ask me. I think that this one of the major problems with the midwifery community. Time.

Time is of Essence isn't that the beautiful cliche that we all know. It's true. Some women have precipitous labors (very fast) the midwife knows this and still takes on the client and then at the end gambles with time. Believe it or not having a baby at home is truly unpredictable. How does a midwife know ahead of time how long a women will labor? How does a midwife know if that vertex baby won't turn breech during labor? How does that midwife know that the baby's heart rate can increase extremely fast in distress? How does a midwife prepare for prolapse cord?

The answer to those question is you can't prepare enough. The point of this chapter of the blog is to talk about how time is perceived in the midwife world opposed to the client/mother world. A lot of midwives tell their clients to call when contractions are 5 minutes apart. REALLY?

Five minutes apart is kind of pushing it if your asking me. Five minutes apart is really close and things can happen quick. No woman should have an unassisted childbirth. That is not cool at all and it is very risky. I know of midwives who have had unassisted childbirths and feel that there is nothing wrong with it. The midwife who held the grievance meeting for my daughter has an unassisted childbirth although she is a midwife.

She told me at the grievance board that her child birth for her latest baby was unassisted because her midwife as well was late. HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does anyone else see a problem with this or is it just me. If your going to be late for a birth then home birth completely goes out the window. You can't birth babies at home if your going to be late.

Being on time for a birth is essential I think most women would agree. Your already taking a risk birthing a baby at home. I think CPM's should hang it up not more delivering babies at home because we all know that there is more than one MIDWIFE FROM HELL OUT THERE!

Sunday, March 9, 2014

The Midwife Didnt Even Show

My husband and I had the Grievance meeting in February regarding the death of our twin daughter Aminah. We showed up at a church in Webster Grooves, Missouri. At first I was wondering why the meeting was being held in a church but I went ahead with it and met the midwife in charge of the meeting, Rachel Williston. She arrived with three other midwives from the Missouri area who did not know Joann and Jennifer personally (I guess so there was not conflict of interest).  When me and I my husband arrived at the church we meet Rachel in a conference room in the back . The first thing that Rachel said when we began the meeting is that she was glad my husband and I showed up and she was sad to say the Joann would not be attending the meeting in person but via speaker phone because she filed a police report on my husband and I saying that we had been harassing her and she was to stay away from us. Midwife Jennifer Konkol showed as well She didn't say anything at all during the meeting she just sat at the table.

I laughed at the idea that we finally got our grievance meeting and the midwife in charge of the death of my daughter didn't even have the decency to show up to the grievance. She is a coward and I hope her business suffers because of her cowardly acts as a midwife. My husband and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. We should just call Joann on Over The Phone Midwife because that is all she is. That's her problem you cant conduct most of your business over the phone. That's the last thing that I remember about Joann is her helping deliver my babies over the phone. She was an absent midwife who should never be able to deliver babies again. But my story enough is not good enough for her to loose her license. Unfortunately more babies will die in the hands of this midwife.

I'm sad to say that yet again we allowed these midwives to lure and play us. The midwives asked me and my husband a series of question about the quality of care that was received from Joann. My husband and I answered all the questions and the meeting ended. I brought twin Akilah to the meeting to let the midwives see that  my other twin was healthy an well and there is for no reason why I shouldn't have my other child with me.

Sadly to say my situation or incident did not hold up anything because Joann is still delivering babies as if she did not have a hand in the death of my baby. Rachel emails me the other day and tells me that my story is touching and she was sorry again that this has happened to our family. She told me that she forwarded all of the information from the Grievance meeting to Shannon Anton from NARM and I will be hearing from Shannon Anton from  here on out regarding disciplinary actions for Midwife Joann Falcon.

I have not heard Anything since the meeting.

The Midwife From Hell

Friday, January 31, 2014

The Nerve of the Midwife

A month ago I submitted a release of medical records to Joann Falcon. I was requesting to see a copy of my medical records and the statement of the incident on the day my twins were born so that I may prepare myself for the Grievance meeting. You know analyze the statement and basically see her take of that day. Just the other day I received a letter from Joann's Midwife Lawyer Bobbi Moon that I am to pay for the medical records. PAY? PAY FOR WHAT? I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO GIVE HER ANOTHER DIME.  The lawyer discussed the fee in the letter. She stated that the rest of the documents requested like the incident report is for Joann's personal records only and they will not be released. Bobbi Moon also informed me that I am not to have any further contact with Joann and to make all further inquires to her "Attorney Bobbi Moon"

So I said to myself this midwife is going to make me pay to receive my medical records as if I haven't paid enough. This is just down right a taste of how nasty these midwives can get when it comes to ethics. I mean how are you going to charge a mother that has lost a child because of improper information on behalf of her occupation. Don't get me wrong many people tell me that I had a choice to call the ambulance early on when I realized that the midwife was on her way but when your in labor and everything is going on your not really thinking that your home birth is going to go wrong. The whole reason why your chose home birth in the first place is to experience birth outside of a hospital. So to answer all the questions that I get about making the decision on behalf of my self I lacked. I do agree. I trusted a complete stranger who gave herself a midwife title. I was naive. I had to pay the cost. My daughter had to pay the cost, my family had to pay the cost.

I trusted the midwife to have my best interest and the best interest of  my babies and that is what I am guilty of. Now because I am airing out her name she wants to be nasty. That's okay I hope my twin daughter haunts you everyday of your fucking miserable life. Fucking cunt!

Now that I have gotten that all off my chest I would like to say that the other midwife that she called to show up didn't have a problem at all sending me an incident report so why is the original midwife making me pay for a report. See I feel like its a game that she is playing now. She is seeing how far she can take it. She feels as though I am ruining her business but I'm thinking to myself how can I ruin your business if your truly a good midwife. The problem is that she doesn't want me to tell women about what she did. She doesn't like me telling other women that she did not show up for my birth but I mean GOSH  its the freaking truth JOANN, YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP! YOU WERE TOO LATE and instead of telling me when I originally called that you were going to be 2 1/2 hours away and to go to the hospital you will meet me there you told me to go home and you were on the your way and you were going to send someone. Then your telling midwives that it was my choice to not call 911. So......................................
I just gave myself a head ache. The games the games disgusting. They will do anything to try to make it seem as if the mother had options and choices. Don't let these midwives guide you.

This midwife drove the car and I was in the backseat. That's what women are paying for when they choose home birth they are choosing someone to drive the car because they don't have the adequate knowledge on home birth and birthing babies. Midwives are so good for blaming the mother when things go wrong but the person that led the horse astray is just as guilty.

I feel into her trap but no more mother have to for the sake of home birth and for Aminah.

Thanks for listening

Saturday, January 25, 2014

The Midwife Court System

Each state of midwives have developed a grievance board which is a midwife court system. If you have a complaint about a specific midwife you have to move forward on a written complaint. The board consist of CPM's of the state (most of the time the midwife in charge is whoever NARM appoints to run the state). Each state consist of a Midwife Association and every midwife from the state reports to the MMA when there is an issue or a complaint in process. Because NARM can not physically be in all states at one time they run their organization this way.

When a family has a complaint it doesn't matter what the complaint is you have to PUT IT IN WRITING. First you will have to email the midwife association and advise them that you have a complaint against a midwife. They will then send you documents in the mail. In the documents will be a letter stating what the grievance board is and what their role is. The association will provide you with a complaint form and advise you to file the complaint in a timely manner.

In the stack of documents you will have to name the midwives that the complaint is about. You must also advise the midwife association of the compliance, codes, and ethics that the midwife has broken during prenatal care.

After the complaint is filed the President of the grievance board will contact you. "This is not a quick process a complaint will take a  minimum of a year to file. See the midwives take their time when their are charges brought up on midwives in the association. They stall. They will play a nasty game in every way possible to slow up the process. They will pretend that they did not receive documents. Send nothing by email and only send things certified mail that they must sign for. It will cost you but it will indeed save you a little time. DON'T GIVE UP!

Midwives get scared when a complaint has been filed or if your midwife is anything like Joann Falcon she will run to a midwife attorney. In my case I  had a lawyer but when they find out that midwives don't have to carry malpractice insurance they realized there was no money that they could get out of the deal they decided they don't want to represent my husband and I (it was a pure waste of time for them).

I also would like to say your midwife has copies of your medical files, documents, and forms that were signed during care (you are entitled to see these before the grievance meeting). Reviewing what went on during the prenatal is vital for you and your family especially before telling a complaint in person.

The midwife association will do all their contact with you via phone, email, and regular mail. This technique is very sad but its the way that they get all  medical documents and authorization. You can imagine it taking about a good year to even file a complaint but when you file a complaint who is receiving all of this information.


I know you were probably thinking maybe some type of government official or even the city of which you live. NO NO NO. See that is where the problem stands. The midwives are in control of everything. They have their own lawyers and the midwife associations and no one is governing them. They don't have to release death records. The only way that women know about the deaths of home birth is if women like me decide to tell their story. Believe me not every woman deciding to go with a home birth is going to research home birth disasters at the beginning of their pregnancies or anytime during their pregnancy at that.


The grievance process is their court system. Once all the appropriate information has been filed with the Midwife Association of your state they will give you a date. On this day you will discuss the written complaint in person. The midwives involved are there, NARM on conference call, and a room full of midwife peers.

Basically this is how it works:
1. Show up at a location
2. Introduce yourself
3. Speak your complaint to the midwives in the room
4. They ask you questions
5. You leave
6. The midwives come in tell their side of the story
7. The president ask question
8. The midwives leave
9. The midwife peers discuss everything at the meeting that day
10.NARM and the Midwife Association discuss midwife and actions and determine if they midwife should lose her license, get more training, or work along side a more qualified CPM. Either way you will have to wait on the decision and be happy with whatever the outcome is.


This is a dangerous game with no Oversight.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

License to Kill

I know that this may seem far fetched to some but in all reality this chapter of the blog,"License to Kill"  is very real. Any midwife in any state can have a License to Kill.
Licence to kill is the official sanction by a government or government agency to a particular operative or employee to initiate the use of lethal force in the delivery of their objectives, well known as a literary device used in espionage fiction. The initiation of lethal force is in comparison to the use of lethal force in self-defense or the protection of life.

Think about it these midwives have the power to kill babies and not have to bare any consequences. I'm starting to think that maybe CPM's are apart of some type government population control agenda. Why I say this is because I have spoken with a lot of powerful people in Congress. I spoken with congressmen and women, relations and counsel women and men, attorneys and DA. They all say that this idea with midwives being criminally negligent is new and they all hint all the time that they don't know how to approach cases like mine (which is really a reality for many women and families I just decided to speak out about my tragedy).

If more babies die at home than in the hospital why must we prove it? Aren't the birth stories enough. I guess the officials at the top have to care about it enough to look into it to even realize that a lot of families have been affected by midwives and the home birth idea. Why continue to allow the midwife professional to thrive when babies and mothers are dying or really close to death for the sake of home birth  What I am getting at is that the government well understands that babies born at home have a greater chance of death or birth injuries and they are okay with that idea. How can you expect positive results with no oversight of the midwifery profession. This is so disgusting to me I don't want to even talk to another government official or interest group. These interest groups are so amusing to me because they are so interested in the idea of home birth and where it goes wrong and they really don't have the a bit of idea because they weren't in the moment. All that research is bullshit. Try being in the moment when it all goes wrong.

A home birth tragedy image is indeed something that will never go away. Knowing that you could have saved your baby if you would not have believed the home birth hype is shockingly a testimony in itself with NO FILTER for any mother who needs a little guidance in the right path.  Your midwife has a license to kill. I challenge all home birthing moms to  ask your midwife how many babies has she killed at home because of improper training maybe she wont admit it at first but tell her to dig deep in her closet of skeletons and pull out a number because every midwife has a number don't let them tell you they don't. Ask your midwife how many babies that she knows of now have to live with permanent birth defects reminding them of that one night when everything went entirely wrong.

The scary thing about home birth is that its just like everything else in the world, "An idea, a culture, a religion, an act of knowledge, a rite of passage, a revolutionary act" whatever else you may want to call it. Home birth is dangerous and most of these midwives are dangerous also. I don't have a problem with midwives who work very closely with physicians. That's not a problem. Mothers need to worry about the midwives who talk so bad about hospitals and interventions. If your midwife is bad mouthing ultrasounds, labs, screening, or any doctor consultation meeting that is definitely a red flag that she is gambler with life.

Most of these midwives out here will sell you a dream of this peaceful home birth and they will never inform you of the risk because they do not want to jeopardize a paid home birth for a safe hospital birth. These midwives want to sell you birthing pools, herbs, books, movies, and the idea that she knows everything about birth but indeed you can not for see a disaster I don't care how good of a midwife you think you are.

So what are the midwives bringing to the table other than death and birth injuries? Heartache and a salty taste of  home birth in America. Is the government apart of this population control idea? Are they aware that these midwives indeed do have licenses to kill or do they think that if a women is dumb enough to have babies at home then they should be able to deal with the consequences of a negative outcome but in all reality I am informing women of the the trap that has been presented in front of them.

Don't believe the hype about home birth!
Your midwife may have a license to kill

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