Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Questioning the Unthinkable

How many woman's babies died at home from a planned home birth and the mother did not file a Grievance?

I know that there are many but woman are scared about speaking out about their decision to home birth after it has went bad. At first it was hard for me to speak out because I was mourning. I was in another world when my twin daughter died. Apart of me died and my family wanted answers. The hospital question came up so much. "Why didn't you go to the hospital."  I eventually just stopped telling people that I lost my twin but there were those people who knew I was pregnant with twins and only see one (this is when the question would come up). I had to except the fact that my daughter died and it was because I chose to home birth. When I started this blog I never said that I didn't hold myself partly responsible for my daughters death.

This blog is a Memoir of Aminah and her fight and struggle. It is my dedication to my daughter. I hope she is pleased in the after life to still consider me as her creator, mother and teacher. For my relationship with my daughter is more than just physical but a spiritual assurance of her existence.

Knowledge is something that is worth much more than money and if I can help other women with exposing the truth about home birth and what midwives are capable of is delightful.

If you are truly a good midwife my blog is no threat to you.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Shannon Anton Accountability

Women Meet Shannon Anton. She is a midwife with NARM. (North American Registry of Midwives). She is the person (midwife) in charge of accountability. Meaning if you place a complaint this midwife will be overseeing the Grievance process. All of the recommendations come to Shannon from the state midwife association. I have spoken with Shannon on many occasions about the grievance process as well as the complaint. I started my grievance process when my daughter died in June of 2014. The grievance is still in process and it has actually been in limbo because I went to Jefferson City in support of HB 2189. This is the last email I received it was on March 19, 2014.

Shannon Anton
To Me
Mar 19
Dear Andrea,

I am contacting you from the NARM board, we spoke on the phone in early January. I chair the Accountability committee. As you know, NARM is the agency that administers the midwifery credential Certified Professional Midwife, CPM.

Your complaint was initially sent to the Missouri Midwives Association, and eventually to our committee.
NARM provides a mandatory process for addressing a complaint against a CPM. Local Missouri CPM Rachel Williston agreed to chair the NARM Complaint Review, which occurred in February. After the Complaint Review group met and heard your complaint, they continued to meet and discuss their findings. Earlier this week I received their outcome statements and am currently reading their evaluations and recommendations.

Based on the statements I've received from the Complaint Review participants, it is now my job to draft the official NARM Complaint Review outcome. My initial draft will be sent to Rachel Williston for her review and edits, and then on to the NARM board for their approval of the final draft.

I will then send the NARM Complaint Review outcome letter to you, the midwives, and Rachel Williston. Rachel will share it with her Complaint Review group. I hope to complete this process by the end of next week, which is the end of March.

I apologize for the delay between Rachel's sending her committee's statements, and my receiving them. Our little post office overlooked her package and it sat in their claim area for several days, it was noticed yesterday when my PO box had notice of another package that didn't fit in our box.

Thank you again for your participation in NARM Complaint Review.
Shannon Anton CPM

For some odd reason I feel like she is avoiding me.  If I'm not mistaking she said, " I hope to complete this process by the end of next week which is the end of March." It's clear that she is holding the process up. I know why though. It's okay because all midwives can't be saved from the horrific murders of children. I chose to speak out about my daughters death and If I had to do it over again I'd speak louder. I just want other women to see what type of accountability you are dealing with if your baby dies from home birth.

If your baby dies at home there will be nothing that you can do about it. You will be told to suck it up and to swallow your tongue. These midwives will interrogate you like police and question you decisions only to shift the blame. The name of the game is called blame. They feel like if they play with the mother and fathers mind enough about the birth disaster maybe they will forget about the complaint overall.

That's why I started this blog. To tell other women to run the hell away from midwives and run right into the hospital. Your baby is safer there then at home in the hands of no accountability.

With that being said.......
continuing on my hunt for the midwife from hell

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

The Effect Home birth has had on my children

Because my home birth was unassisted my children were greatly effected by home birth. especially my oldest because believe it or not she is old enough to remember what happened that night. When my husband and I made the decision to home birth I really did picture my two children and my husband standing along side of the birthing pool with the midwife but unfortunately my home birth did not happen anything like I envisioned. It actually happened the exact opposite of perfect. Even to this day my oldest daughter talks about that night. She asks questions about what was happening and she asks questions about what happened in the hospital when Aminah was there. I had to find kind words for my daughter. I had to describe in a child friendly way what happened that night. Still to this day if one of my children gets sick and needs to go to the hospital they show concern in the face because their memories of  that day have embarked a place in their memories that will last forever.

Making a choice to home birth is a serious decision that should be review and contemplated as often as possible all the way up to the day of birth. Ask yourself is the decision something that you want or is it something you desire? If so, for what reasons do you seek home birth? Because at the end your thoughts I have a hundred reason to change your mind about home birth. Although I am not a professional in the medical field but my daughters death has made me more aware and knowledgeable about home birth. It has made me more bold, blunt, and not so nice when interacting with people I don't know personally.   My problem in life is that I was taught to give people the benefit of the doubt until proven other wise but my gosh giving someone the benefit of the doubt can cost a life! That is serious my friend and I had to tell my father that indeed he did teach me that but I had to alter that. I tell my children give  no one the benefit of the doubt this world is rude and cruel and there are snakes out there waiting to devour in delight if they can read your brain chemistry.

Children are precious and many of our children have not been tainted by this cold world yet. I mean if you have nothing else in the world your WORD should stand tall but it doesn't because people will lie right in your face while they are taking your money. We are in trouble because capitalisim has made its way into midwifery and now babies are being born on money time. That's scary. Our children are imporatant and every child carried in the womb deserves to live.

I began to teach my children give no one the benefit of the doubt that will get in you in trouble. You can give someone the benefit of the doubt and they when rob you right while you looking at them. I tell my daughter that we live in the land where laws dictate people and their actions. Some people follow the rules and some people don't. Home birth affects everyone when a baby is lost. One thing I can say is that my oldest daughter was old enough to remember Aminah's birth and death. She can pass on the everlasting experience about home birth to her sister Twin Akilah.

My twin daughter was greatly affected by the loss of her sister. I could tell at the beginning. very much so There was many nights where nothing that I could do would stop her from crying. I would take here into the bathroom and hold her up in front of my mirror that is split into two (this mirror forms a double image of a person if standing in front). She would look into the mirror and see her two reflections and she would stop crying. It may sound weird but it is like she knows that something is missing but she is to young to tell me. This is what a midwife and the choice to home birth has done to me and my family.

I hope that Twin Aminah will always be remembered for one of the babies that had an affect on changing the law. Aminah did not survive but I plan to continue her life through knowledge. My daughter died so I can give other women the right knowledge about home birth.

I've said this before. "Birth where you are Protected".

Dreah Louis

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Missouri HB 2189 Metting

Never have I been to the Capitol building in my 28 years here on earth. The building architecture is beautiful. The lawn well manicured and the trees swayed beautifully in the spring wind as my husband, twin daughter and I rushed to appear at the 12 o clock hearing on HB 2189 on Wednesday April 16, 2014. I was asked by a few house members to appear to tell my story about my home birth disaster.

As I entered the Capitol Building I was mesmerised  by the history hanging all over the walls. Pictures of all the people responsible over the years for laws in Missouri. Indeed my husband and I did feel out of place because we were one of few African American in the building. Sad to see that there were not any African Americans on the wall kind of made me feel uncomfortable. To know that African Americans existence here is well know but know where did I see a face as the same color of my own on in the house. There were children there on field trips, universities visiting; touring. I was so lost the building felt so big to me.

With assistance from many people that morning I did find my way to the office of Diane Franklin. She introduced herself with a handshake and a Thank you for appearing. As we sat and waited for the hearing to begin I prepared myself for my testimony for the bill. I mean I kept telling myself, "how do you prepare for something that you have never done before?" I couldn't prepare enough.

When it was finally time for us to appear in the hearing room we did so. As we walked down to the hearing room my hands began to sweat and my heart began to race rapidly. You see this day was very important for my family and I not just because we were able to tell our story but because we have not had any justice for our daughter and this was the closest thing to that. As my husband and I waited patiently for the bill to be introduced I sat and thought about how many families this bill would help in the future.

Finally, Missouri House Bill 2189 was introduced by Diane Franklin she describe the importance of the bill and the specifics of the bill in particular, the amount that covers midwives and so forth. I was the first witness I was finally getting  my chance to tell people about this midwife and my home birth disaster to a group of people who have the power to change things. Indeed I did tell my birth disaster in five minutes and nervous I was but I did get my point across.

I support HB 2189 for future families because it will indeed help many. It will not bring back lives or change mental retardation but it does add some accountability to the situation. Right now NARM does not understand accountability. They have put Shannon Anton in charge of the accountability department. A dishonest woman she is. She will help these midwives hide deaths and she will protect these midwives. You see I have already done the necessary steps to a grievance. When a baby dies the only thing that you can do is to write a complaint to the Association. The association is not familiar with the proper way to conduct or hold a grievance review.  If there is no malpractice insurance then all a family has left is to file a grievance.

I did everything that I was suppose to do. I submitted all requested documents many times more than once. The midwives wanted me to give up and forget about my daughters death but I continued on because the way that my daughter died was brutal she was suffocated in my womb while I waited on the midwife. I never knew she was dying while I was waiting. Why? Because I am not a midwife. I hired a midwife for that very reason. To be the driver of the ship and she failed and my sink sank all the way to the bottom with passengers on it.

Regardless if the bill is passed. I will continue my quest of providing knowledge to woman who want it. Sometimes change is good and I know that the bill has not been passed and has been persued a few times but I feel as a mother that it can really do more good than harm.

Thanks all for who included me in a possible positive step into saving more babies and mothers.

+malpractice insurance
+Jefferson City

April 16, 2014

Dreah Louis

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Birth Where You Are Protected

This Chapter of the blog is important because it actually talks about hospital births vs home births something that midwives and doctors debate about all the time. Which is safer? Is a hospital birth safe? Is a home birth safer because of less interventions? My motto is better safer than sorry. I know that women are free to decide on which way to birth and the hospitals can be a little demanding on the way they process women. I believe that in all reality that doctors want to take the safest approach to birth. Do the same for all women = same results.

I truly believe that even in a home birth you need a team of people. I a good midwife is connected with good doctors and hospitals, even paramedics, cab drivers, police chiefs, and fire department. These team of people should have relationships with midwives. You need these people on your call list as a midwife in case you may need them one night and very quickly.

Hospitals and doctors are protected by insurance "just in case" and all home births have something called a grievance process and believe me as I said before you don't want to go through a grievance compliant review with midwives. The reason I say that is because it seems as though midwives are not prepared for death or event affected by a midwife's lack of education or simple time management. Midwives like to believe that the mother is at fault and these women kind of toy around with the concept of actual seriousness.

I believe that hospitals are around for a reason and I believe as a nation we have evolved to hospitals. We should embrace the hospital systems and keep home birth limited to well equipped birth centers and hospitals that tend to work with doctors not against doctors and ideas.

Some of us mothers get birth confused with numbers and statistics but under it all it comes down to live babies vs. dead babies and regardless of the path taken 1 dead baby is a baby too many.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Firing The Midwife

If your pregnant and your thinking about home birth let me first say that, "I was once in your shoes." I would dream of how the home birth was going to be. I daydreamed about having my babies at home natural. I believed in my body. I exercised everyday. I made all natural smoothies, meditated, listened to beautiful music. My husband and I talked to the babies and I felt both of them move everyday of my pregnancy. My pregnancy was beautiful and my belly stretched to the max. 40 weeks is along time to be pregnant 40 weeks is along time but everything was changed in minutes. All my time pregnant changed in minutes. I counted on a midwife that made bad judgment calls with me and the sad part about is that she wont even admit that she mislead me as a client.

I feel like race played a major part in my treatment. I mean me being a black women birthing at home maybe she felt uncomfortable and never told me. Maybe she didn't want too take me as a client and just didn't know how to tell me? Maybe, Maybe, Maybe. I blame myself a lot because I trusted a woman that I didn't know personally to deliver something so delicate and meaningful to our family and she failed us without a doubt. Sad to say she will probably continue to deliver babies but I hope that she never forgets about me and my family because she took something so valuable from us and we will never be able to get her back.

Sometimes lessons have to be learned the hard way. My job is to help other women not to have to learn this type of lesson the hard way. I'm telling women straight up to stay away from HOME BIRTH. Hospitals may put you through a lot of interventions but its worth the time that you put in nesting a baby your womb. You don't want a midwife to ruin that opportunity for you and your family. Your child deserves to live and although the hospital does overdo it often I can guarantee your more likely to come home with a live baby than choosing home birth.

As I said before Word of Mouth is sometimes not good enough. Personal responsibility is something that you will have to set yourself up for and that was not something as a mother that I really thought about when I was pregnant. I never thought that my midwife wasn't going to be at my birth. Never in a million years would I have thought that. There is absolutely no excuse for a midwife to not show for a whole birth. I don't care what anyone says. A lot of women give their absent midwives to much credit because they are so in love with the idea of home birth and they feel like they have to take some type of personal responsibility because midwives say. Home birth is risky point blank and I am here to say that there is no accountability for these midwives.  Being absent for a home birth  should not be tolerated at all.

WHY? You can't be counted on. Your fired. Why is it so hard to fire a midwife. Well as a mother who is and has been apart of the home birth community I AM FIRING JOANN FALCON.


Joann Falcon your career as a midwife is over turn in your license.

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