The Effect Home birth has had on my children

Because my home birth was unassisted my children were greatly effected by home birth. especially my oldest because believe it or not she is old enough to remember what happened that night. When my husband and I made the decision to home birth I really did picture my two children and my husband standing along side of the birthing pool with the midwife but unfortunately my home birth did not happen anything like I envisioned. It actually happened the exact opposite of perfect. Even to this day my oldest daughter talks about that night. She asks questions about what was happening and she asks questions about what happened in the hospital when Aminah was there. I had to find kind words for my daughter. I had to describe in a child friendly way what happened that night. Still to this day if one of my children gets sick and needs to go to the hospital they show concern in the face because their memories of  that day have embarked a place in their memories that will last forever.

Making a choice to home birth is a serious decision that should be review and contemplated as often as possible all the way up to the day of birth. Ask yourself is the decision something that you want or is it something you desire? If so, for what reasons do you seek home birth? Because at the end your thoughts I have a hundred reason to change your mind about home birth. Although I am not a professional in the medical field but my daughters death has made me more aware and knowledgeable about home birth. It has made me more bold, blunt, and not so nice when interacting with people I don't know personally.   My problem in life is that I was taught to give people the benefit of the doubt until proven other wise but my gosh giving someone the benefit of the doubt can cost a life! That is serious my friend and I had to tell my father that indeed he did teach me that but I had to alter that. I tell my children give  no one the benefit of the doubt this world is rude and cruel and there are snakes out there waiting to devour in delight if they can read your brain chemistry.

Children are precious and many of our children have not been tainted by this cold world yet. I mean if you have nothing else in the world your WORD should stand tall but it doesn't because people will lie right in your face while they are taking your money. We are in trouble because capitalisim has made its way into midwifery and now babies are being born on money time. That's scary. Our children are imporatant and every child carried in the womb deserves to live.

I began to teach my children give no one the benefit of the doubt that will get in you in trouble. You can give someone the benefit of the doubt and they when rob you right while you looking at them. I tell my daughter that we live in the land where laws dictate people and their actions. Some people follow the rules and some people don't. Home birth affects everyone when a baby is lost. One thing I can say is that my oldest daughter was old enough to remember Aminah's birth and death. She can pass on the everlasting experience about home birth to her sister Twin Akilah.

My twin daughter was greatly affected by the loss of her sister. I could tell at the beginning. very much so There was many nights where nothing that I could do would stop her from crying. I would take here into the bathroom and hold her up in front of my mirror that is split into two (this mirror forms a double image of a person if standing in front). She would look into the mirror and see her two reflections and she would stop crying. It may sound weird but it is like she knows that something is missing but she is to young to tell me. This is what a midwife and the choice to home birth has done to me and my family.

I hope that Twin Aminah will always be remembered for one of the babies that had an affect on changing the law. Aminah did not survive but I plan to continue her life through knowledge. My daughter died so I can give other women the right knowledge about home birth.

I've said this before. "Birth where you are Protected".

Dreah Louis