The Midwife From Hell

Wow, it's been a long time coming. Aminah has been gone almost 5 years now. Time moves so fast. I literally can not believe it. Although I have not blogged in a while, my fight for Aminah has not stopped. As we have added to our family I can't help but to know for sure that my Twin's death was definitely due to negligence of that Midwife. Anyways.........I'm proven record that you may still receive a delayed birth certificate for a home birth. Here a few pictures of what Aminah would look like to this day. Identical Twin Akilah Born 1st Identical Twin Akilah Born 1st Identical Twin Akilah Born 1st Happy Blogging

Today is the anniversary of Aminah's passing. This day 4 years ago I was overwhelmed with an undeniable feeling of regret. I felt alone and troubled. My soul just would not rest. In the picture above is Twin Akilah. I always upload pictures of her because this is what Aminah looks like.She was an identical twin. I feel that no matter what I can honestly say that I love Aminah and will continue to dedicate this blog to her in every way possible. Sometimes I look at Twin Akilah and just cry because she is so special and smart and she is missing her other part but everyday I show her pictures and remind her who Aminah is. I tell her what happened and I tell Akilah why she is special. I tell her your a twin!!!! I tell her she is so special that God had to make two. I have mourned for so long today is a Celebration. We will honor you our special Ibeji Holiday. We Love you Aminah.

So today I have a midwife appointment baby due soon. I will be recording my whole trip. Since this is my last baby I want this to be special. I will be recording these weeks until delivery. Hope you stay tuned in.

Dear Midwife Joann Falcon, I don't know if you remember me but I chose you as my midwife and you failed me. I chose you as a midwife and you mislead me. I chose you as a midwife and I paid you, even bought all the supplies that you suggested. I trusted you and you failed me. Mislead and ignored me. I chose to talk about my Home Birth disaster even after I knew that I would be ridiculed. I took that risk. I just want the world to know I will never stop showing your face. Yes, your face. The face of the midwife that stood me up at my birth and ran after my baby died. Never made a visit, never sent any flowers, and never sent your condolences. I guess you felt like you didn't owe me that. I guess you felt you didn't owe my daughter that but because of that I will never stop talking about you. I will never stop mentioning your name as the midwife from hell. That's exactly what you are. I hope that one day you will consider what you did and how messy you were and

The Death Photographer Standing in Aminah’s room the door slowly opened and a head peeked through. There was a Blondie lady standing in between the door smiling asking permission to come in. As I gave her permission to move forward, she stepped in and shut the large door behind her. She introduced herself as the nurse photographer. She walked over to me with a camera around her neck and a bright red folder. She pulled a chair for me to sit down and she sat loosely on the edge of Aminah’s bed. She began to open the bright red folder and out fell two pieces of paper in front of me. I had seemed to catch them in thin air before they hit the floor. Looking up at the nurse while arranging the papers she apologized and moved on to why she was there. The nurse photographer standing in front of me stated that she worked for the hospital and she was there to offer me moments with my daughter completely free of charge a courtesy of the hospital. I was confused

The Night Nurse   Old, Pale, and Fragile, The Night Nurse introduced herself by writing her name on the white board in  Aminah’s  room.  She walked right over to  Aminah  and began her routine vitals check.  She looked up at me and smiled. “How is she doing today?” The night nurse asked. “She is the same as the day before”, I replied. I immediately walked over to twin  Akilah  crying for milk in her car seat.  I carefully picked  Akilah  up and out of her car seat and began to playfully bounce her around while pacing the floor of  Aminah’s  room.  The walking around  Aminah’s  room was not pleasing twin  Akilah’s  cries.  Walking over to the single couch sitting in the corner of the room I began to prop  Akilah  for a feeding.  As I began to pull my breast out to feed, I noticed the nurse pulling the curtain surrounding me, allowing me privacy while breast-feeding.  Apart of me felt helpless, unable to feed both of my babies at the same time as I planned to before the bir

The Midwife From Hell Book release date is August 25th, 2017. Here are a sneak peak chapters in the book. If you are interested in Pre-Ordering the book you can submit a form or simply just click on the Buy Now Button on the sidebar. * The Bathroom *. The Day After * The Car Ride Blues * The Death Photographer * Husband's Grief * The Night Nurse * The Phone Call * Depression * Missing Twin Sydrome

Laying in a puddle of blood on top on a gurney my second baby was born. Lifeless, pale, blue, and silent. My vision seemed to be blurry as though I was watching a horror movie through the lens of a camera. I knew something was wrong and the Midwife was not there. Something was very wrong

                            Twin Akilah                  Twin Akilah and Cousin Akilah is such a ball of energy. She is so articulate, smart, and such a diva. She is very emotional and sweet. She is bold and has a very good memory. I tell her all the time that she is a twin. She knows what twin means. For some reason twin books, shows,and presents all come in some type of twin form to her like a special gift from someone special. I call Akilah "Ibeji" Which is African for twin representation. I also call her "Twin". I call her these names so she will always known she is special and was born special and survived under special circumstances. When I upload these images I see her within Akilah my beautiful sweet Aminah. The Midwife From Hell

Every now and then someone reaches out to me. They have read my blog and feel inspired to share their stories. It would be such a beautiful experience if more women could come from under the bed and not be afraid anymore. Sure discussing experiences with each other always helps the soul but informing all women should be the focus. I have tried to partner with many people but somehow I have been told that my blog is to political. 😕😕😕. At first I though about it for a moment. It may be. Wow, just what the world needs a Negro childbirth politician. I am so tired of having to meet other peoples standards to fit in. I will not change the depth of the content. My message is always the same be smart when birthing at home. Signing off Dreah Louis The Midwife From Hell

                                   Sometimes words can't express how you feel.

Rachel discussing through email who can attend the Grievance hearing. Right out of the horses mouth.

Here is a email from Rachel explaining the Grievance process.

I guess she forgot about me because she never responded back. Typical from Rachel. 😠😠😠😠

Sitting at the park remembering that night. Wondering if that midwife thinks about Aminah as much as I do. My thoughts are always on overload, knowing that I could have did something different that night. The midwife could have did something different. Twin Akliah and Daddy As I watch twin Aminah play on the Merry-Go-Round with her siblings, I can't help but to feel sad because she is missing her other half. She knows she is a twin but she doesn't know the feeling of what it's like to truly be a twin. I feel she was robbed. We were robbed. Twin Akilah with face paint Twin Akilah The mother in me just will not give up on Aminah even though her flesh is gone. When I first lost Aminah a part of me wanted to hide because I was ashamed of my choices. A part of me was furious, my rage was real and strong. I felt like the MMA (Missouri. Midwife .Association) failed me. I felt like NARM (North American Registry of Midwives) failed me. My lawyer failed me. Mos

Singleton? Or Twins? I just found out on New Years eve 🎉🎉🎉 Follow my blog for new updates on this pregnancy. Also Follow The Midwife From Hell blog for more updates on midwives and accountability.

There is not a day that goes by that I dont think about Twin Aminah. The most painful part about May 24, 2013 is she didn't have to die. Not only did she not have to die Aminah nor my family received any recourse for her death. Her death was kicked under a rug. There were many people responsible that night for the condition of my new born baby. The midwife system is very corrupt and very trendy. Don't let these women fool you. You know, the home birth enthusiast, the midwives, the doulas, NARM, or the private owned ultasound businesses. NARM and their midwives are running away from accountability. These CPA's want to birth babies at home with no accountability. Meaning if something happens they are going to run behind NARM and NARM and their state Associations will protect them. So many babies have died in the hands of unqualified midwives and it has to stop. Of course birthing at home can be a beautiful moment but also know it can turn into a nightmare really quick. Be